And it's been three months. Wow. I don't even know where time goes. Talk about lost time, but it seems like the name and the actual thing don't coordinate in my head. Will try to tell someone in the same sentence that I don't lose time, but I'm not sure where February or March went. There has been denial, in and out of it. Then the kids pop up and how do you deny that? I think Carol has been out and about, but seems to be respecting the rest of us that share this body. There's definitely been drinking, but nothing totally overboard. I will call that progress for sure! I've given up on thinking this body will ever be totally sober, but in moderation I'll deal with. I'm not good at compromise, but then neither is she. It's taken so long to get to this point, and I'm still really uncomfortable with her being in control, but I don't have to worry that we will wind up in another life threatening situation. Chori and I have cut back on si, though it's been a struggle lately for me. A heavy one. It's been about 6 months and it's kind of a turning point. Every 6 month mark for some reason. Currently there is no si happening, but idk if one of us will give in or not. Pros and Cons being thought through. If I get through the next couple of weeks I should be good for another 6 months or so. Guess we'll find out.

There've been med changes. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with the number of pills we're on. In the morning it's the vitamins, d/calcium supplement, lamictal, wellbutrin - which I have to take in two separate pills, prevacid, neurontin, florastor, buspar, iron supplement, and then the ibuprofen and prn anxiety pills. Got another neurontin mid day and can take prn ibuprofen and anxiety pills if needed, at night it's neurontin, buspar, seroquel, and prns again if needed. That's....takes a moment to count...13 prescriptions? idk if I should count the inhaler or not. I get worried about the amount of chemicals in the body, but on the other hand we all seem relatively stable now.

Money situation has gotten much better. Have gotten disability payments and hubby found something part time too. We are getting some much needed work done on the house and buying a ton of stuff that we all need. Getting a gift or two for those inside. Got an owl for Cassie, she seems happy with it. I know she's wanted something. Carol went and spent a bunch of money on make up, though not much given what we have to spend right now. Was very bewildered the other day to come around to seriously heavy eyeliner. Took like 20 minutes to get off. It's weird, some of us seem to be missing right now, but that doesn't make any sense. Cassidy is like taking a break or something? I know she's still there, but she's never out or even really co con. I know Carol and Cassie have been active. I've been active. Willow hasn't been, but she's totally in the background helping keep us all calm. Others are poking their heads up briefly, so meeting some that haven't bothered to surface til now.

The car is slowly coming together. Appointments made for more work. Fixing stuff up around the house. Been kind of lonely, but I don't know why since I haven't been alone internally or externally. The body just seems tired, idk maybe cuz of when I get to come out, but seems more like a weariness. Slept like 14 hours and been up almost 11. I'm so ready to go back to bed. Unintentionally seemed to wean off of caffeine. I just stopped drinking the coffee and haven't bought any pop really so it's been just water and some gatorade, but I'm out of gatorade anyway. (Yes, Chori, I hear you. We'll get some.)

Now I'm just babbling, so probably should wrap this up. For the most part things are going well, although I couldn't tell you what I did in February. Not that that is unusual anyway. Have missed popping in here, and so has Cassie. Would like to be more active here, but it seems like we're always catching up and then tired by the time we did. Will have to come back more regularly. ~~Pru