Been a mess at home. Car not working, but parked in driveway because mechanic wasn't ever going to get to it I think. Dad died, which has been hard to deal with. He was very sick and it wasn't a surprise, but it sucks. We had pretty good relationships with dad, and we'll miss him very much. Husband has been useless. He's not a bad person, but right now he's not helping with anything. I'm so on my own and we're not dealing at all. Husband totally unavailable physically and emotionally. Stupid depression, sigh.

Getting flooded with memories again. I don't have time for this right now, I'm trying to process other major stuff. ffs fml It's been bad to deal with. We been switchy, surprised by the whole thing, and just mind blown because I thought these things had been dreams or nightmares and they weren't. They're not all bad, but enough of it is.

Also, an "ex" from when we all tried to have our own relationships (Possible, but definitely messy. lol) Has gotten in contact with me after a long time. We were also very good friends and he knows about us all, which I confirmed with him the other day. That was a stressful conversation to say the least! So much anxiety I almost got sick. I was trying to ask the right questions to get him to understand if he knew/remembered without leading him with my questions, or giving anything away if he didn't. He remembers many things I don't...though I'm sure someone does. I desperately need him in my life, right now and always. I'm alone a lot and just need a friend back, one that was kind and understands.

He said he wanted to get together, but I haven't heard a peep since then. gods I hope he wasn't just trying to placate me.

Been feeling a little sui and lots of SI urges. Most likely just because so much is happening and I don't deal with emotions if I don't have to. I'm learning. It's slow. Been using resources and coping lists to stay safe, but need to reach out more. People keep hanging up on me, not answering, etc. I haven't told them I need real help either, but they're so busy.

~~Pru~~

Hugs. Post in SI if you need to, sweetie.

Thank you for the hugs. And will do.

All the best from me!!!!

[quote="panicroom"]All the best from me!!!![/quote]

Thank you.