Got so stressed out that we've kind of gone into hiding or just been blocked from being out. Whichever it is, it's frustrating. Among other things, haven't been here in a couple months. End up losing track of people and others get mad that they don't hear from us enough. Obviously we only have one body and there's just not time enough for several different lives. (Friends, activities, etc) Denial isn't helping anything either. Car's still broke, dryer's still broke, cell phone is acting up, this laptop too. New anti anxiety med is helping a little, but it hits like a brick wall. Can't be anxious if you're sleeping, I guess. I should try to find some sort of direction for this blog before it turns as scattered and discombloberated as everything else we touch. Can't even finish a sentence in my own head.

Aaaand now the dryer. Can I just climb into bed until 2020 or something? I'm so done with this adult crap. *headdesk*

Can't figure out if we're really switchy or if we should get checked for ADHD. Maybe both. Have had more stress tacked on, how much more is anyone capable of handling? I feel like I'm whining, but I don't know what else to do but vent right now. I can't make anything better or worse, just feeling helpless.

idk how much we're supposed to handle. Dad's dying, our uncle has cancer too, and now the car died. We have 5 people depending on one car and it $#%^ the bed. We just can't afford this. If I was working maybe we could, but I'm not because I can't get us a job and handle it. Not stable enough to work and not disabled enough to get help with it. Perhaps I'm just being lazy. idk have people telling me that I need to do this. Hubby is adamant that I need to do this, that I'm not healthy enough to take on a job, but I just feel like such a burden. Always carried other's burdens I can't get used to being one. Hanging in, but life sucks right now.

Have had the revolving door thing happening the last few days and it's been a real pain. Everyone wants me to give up more control, but then she does thongs like buying cigarettes and smoking in front of people that don't know. I don't want to get addicted to the nicotine again. And okay, if you're going to insist we eat could it at least not be junk food??? This is so irritating. -