I can't evaluate our "relationship" anymore. Atleast not consistently. Either I am very optimistic and it'll all be good, or the exact opposite. I flip from one extreme to the other.

One trigger causes a chain-reaction. I start to obsess, my mood changes and the whole way I perceive the situation changes dramatically. As a consequence of this I either wanna continue with her, try to adapt to the new situation or break up with her. Nothing in between. Either I see her as the right person for me and actually sugarcoat our problems and intense, unstable "relationship" or I see all this as a complete hell sucking me further into complete destruction. Judging all this rationally and objectively? Impossible. Having a consistent and realistic attitude concerning the situation? Impossible. This makes it very difficult to make the right decisions..