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Writing N... Love's P... on the bus seat at my bus shelter, a few months after I saw him in the city and told him not to come around to my place to talk to me anymore, just wait until I see you around I said.

N... is me
P... is him

Now this was his latest manic episode, implying I still love him because last time I saw him I said I was seeing ...

I'm sitting here thinking what the hell am I doing, I'm not doing anything with myself. No matter how much I'm harrassed by this evil force I can't be convinced to do anything. It's as if someone turned a switch off in my body. I've had a multitude of ideas for writing projects and lots of notes, but no will or real drive to finish anything. I just walk to the grocery store and the ...

(not that all schizoids are misanthropes)

No one takes Halloween seriously anymore....that is, to scare the $#%^ out of people....make them uncomfortable. This is the deeply buried schizoid dream....for me, at least.

But I don't think witches or ghosts are the way to do it. Not in this society, not at this point in history....this society doesn't take such entities seriously anymore. Instead, the terrifying things in our society are suicide, terrorism, and sacrificed infants. ...

Tormented asylums
Come and Go
Tormented thoughts, rob and go
Floating into the atmosphere

a very cold warm started to shake his very bones
it wasn't a concern anymore
he was dead?
forever young?
losing?
a manner?
a way of living?

for what?
for psychopaths?
for jazz?

JAzz..
oh leathers, glorious leather of arrangements
wine and drugs
revolting issues
######6 frowns

Oh pestilent revolting issues of pedestal of grasps
just ######6 yell!
YELL!

frowning colds ...

:D Happy Halloween, you #####&! Ha ha ha!

How to lose a friendship.

Add seven years of gossip around, moaning and pretending you don't like her.

Add a nostaligic memory of unraving edges.

add a hi five status of a 'being nice guy'

discover she's like a little teddy bear

kiss her nipples

spent four years non seeing

watch her again

be rejected

moan on drugs

re-encounter

pretend you're not shy

pretend you're an idiot

invite her home

pay her rent

try to ...

Hey Folks!

I've made an effort to avoid this forum because I had become too dependent on it, which resulted my prolonging this crap.

Well, My HPD/BPD has been trying to maintain a presence in my life. She will find little excuses to make contact and I've quite impressively been cordial but distant.

However, today out of the blue she suggested I go for drinks. And I confirm her intentions of having a drink with ...

:wink: Happy Halloween Everyone!!!! :) :)

I hope everyone has a safe and fun night.

I have just finished reading "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry" (Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D). I recommend this book for its insights and humour, not just on N's but on other emotional manipulators.

The book resonated with me because it helped me recognize the true cost to me of being NS to my N for 30 years. It wasn't the emotional wounds, because I am well into the healing process and know ...

This is probably one of the hardest periods of my life.Today I didnt drink anything but my father noticed that i was , dehydrated so he made me drink.Basically I kinda tried to commit suicide in , a very random way by not drinking water or anything at all and i have been rying to do that this week cause i got the idea when i was searching "how long can a person go without ...