Can't find stability

I have gone from mania to psychosis to depression back to psychosis then back to depression for 6months now.

In thoes 6 months I have been hospitalised, put on 2 sections and had several medications thrown at me.

I'm currently depressed with psychotic feature (mainly paranoid dellutions).

This is the worst my mood disorder has ever been and it the worst my psychosis has ever been. I have been having psychotic symptoms every day in the last 6months.
I do not take any drugs, I rarely drink, I don't have caffeinated drinks, i eat well and I have good sleep hygiene

I'm so scared that my psychosis will never settle and that my mood will just keep cycling forever.

I know that sounds dramatic but I'm really loosing hope.

I have tried several meds and now I feel at a loss.
I'm about to loose everything because I simply can't take anymore sick days off my university course with out loosing my place.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I guess I just need to rant.

So sorry to read that, bettyboop. *hug*

I hope this does not trigger you in itself but... don't you think the situation between you and your boyfriend might be a big contribution to your mental state? You can't talk to him about your illness; yet he is supposed to be your closest person and provide support. I would find that extremely difficult...