What do I do?

I have just slept for 14 hours after not sleeping much for a week.
I had a traumatic day yesterday.
Went to my doctor as I was feeling out of control. They said they were contacting the crisis team to talk to me. Then they said they'd rang social services about my 5 children.
I left the doctors with 3 of my children and went to the train station. I decided that I was going to get on the first train and get off at the fourth stop as I like the number four.
I missed the train by 30 seconds and the next one took me to where my mum lives.
Cue the panic for the safety of the children. I was found by the police and social services. I was at my mums house and I'm not allowed to be alone with the kids understandably. I'm still waiting on help from crisis. Once the children were deemed as being looked after properly no one cares how I'm doing.
I left the children with relatives and now I'm at home alone.
I'm not ready to be a mum again yet and I'm trying to figure out a plan. I have looked for flights out of the country but I have no money. I can't commit suicide as I haven't made a will yet.
I am sat here trying to make a plan.
I go to the doctors for help and don't get any. I think I'm bipolar but no one is listening. I now have no children, no medication and no clue how I'm going to get any help

I'm so sorry that things are so terrible... I really can't imagine going through all of that.

I know how difficult it is to find a Doctor who listens, but it made a tremendous difference in my life when I finally found one. It's a good first step. Keep advocating for yourself. You'll find one who's kind and cares.

...and taking a walk beneath the stars often clears my mind up a bit while I'm depressed. There's some truth in everyone's "Go outside," creed for depression. Just a short walk. Maybe with hot cocoa.

Gosh hon

This sounds a nightmare for you. I am so sorry you are feeling so awful.

Please dont run away more tho hon and please dont kill yourself. Keep calling your team and demand that you are given crisis intervention. You certainly sound as if you need it. Keep asking them until you get it and if you have someone who can ask for you too, ask them to do so. Can your Mum?

Huge hugs honey and please keep safe and keep talking to us

Cracked

I have no-one to talk to. The doctors just rang social services and the police. I didn't get to talk to anyone even though that is why I went to the doctor. I'm frightened to get the kids back. I went into my kitchen earlier and the deep fat fryer was on. It must have been on for hours as I have been in bed for so long. Don't even remember switching it on or why I would have.

-- Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:56 pm --

I took advice about leaving the house. I have been on a bike ride and now I'm visiting one of my children. I have hardly spoken to him but I feel like I should be close to him

Maybe you could look for a therapist who could advise you to a psychiatrist, instead of vice verso? I think that you can see one without too long of a wait if you really stress how dire your situation is.

The psych ward rang. They apologised for not ringing on Friday. I have to go for an assessment in an hour. Thank you guys for getting me to this point x

Joseph_clucky wrote:The psych ward rang. They apologised for not ringing on Friday. I have to go for an assessment in an hour. Thank you guys for getting me to this point x

Please keep us posted on how it goes, Joseph_clucky.

Huge hugs,
Alice

Joseph_clucky wrote:The psych ward rang. They apologised for not ringing on Friday. I have to go for an assessment in an hour. Thank you guys for getting me to this point x

Thank goodness. Please let us know how it goes

Hugs

Cracked

So I'm suffering the 'rebound effect' of stopping my meds. Makes sense but doesn't answer the question of why these tablets don't help me with my mood swings. Still no clearer

Joseph_clucky wrote:So I'm suffering the 'rebound effect' of stopping my meds. Makes sense but doesn't answer the question of why these tablets don't help me with my mood swings. Still no clearer

Sorry to hear things are no clearer. Are they going to keep seeing you now whilst things are so difficult for you?

Huge hugs

Cracked