How to make him obey small house rules?

How to make him obey small house rules? I am having a difficult time making him obey small house rules like eating on the dining table, not roaming around the house in his undies, and taking out the garbage. I tell him once and he does it that once if I'm lucky. The next day its back to his normal bad habits. Very irritating. If he loves me soo much like he says, why can't he even do these small things like wear a t-shirt till he goes to bed?

If this is someone under the age of 12, then grounding or removal of privileges [phone, video games] is a reasonable approach.

If this is an older teen, again grounding or privileges, but perhaps some social pressure too.

If this is your partner, then I would question having "house rules" in the first place. He's an adult and able to make choices for himself. These are things that bother you, not him. It's his house too, why are undies a bad choice of clothing? What does eating on the dining table have to do with anything [if you're wanting to eat as a couple, then making it more of an event might help. If you want him to do that even when you aren't eating at the same time, again, I'd say it's his choice.]

The garbage is annoying, but how bad is it really? Is it piling up and smelling and attracting flies? Does it NEED to be done or do you WANT it to be done?

Attaching proof of love to basic household activities is not healthy. Wearing a t-shirt is not a particularly impressive way to prove love. This isn't dog-training and I think perhaps revisiting your own expectations might be useful. Perhaps he's cross with you because you never walk round the house in your undies? Perhaps if you did that, he'd be better with the other things? I'd suggest sitting down as adults to discuss this. And accepting that as an adult, neither of you can make the other obey.

Hello there, Ada's comments make sense to me. Unfortunately the consequence of him not doing what you want is likely that your affection for him will diminish.

My partner is a little bit of a hoarder and it inhibits my own functioning (because I am sensitive to my surroundings). It pisses me off.

Seems to me that like attracts like. I have no right to tell my partner that she can't hoard. Only that I do not like it. I am the one who has to act on not liking it whatever that may be (which may mean consequences for her).

So best tell your partner, I don't like it. I would like you to do such and such. The choice is yours, but I will be doing such and such if such and such doesn't happen.

Thanks for your comments.

This is adult partner I am talking about.

Based on another post, I decided we are not ready for a kid. But I think I will know when I am ready when he understands what i like/don't like and tries to make an effort. Because really if I was disicipling say a child in front of him that would be impossible since the adult doesn't do it. Why would a child eat on dining table if his father doesn't, right?

onevoice wrote:if I was disicipling say a child in front of him that would be impossible since the adult doesn't do it. Why would a child eat on dining table if his father doesn't, right?

Sound almost right to me. Our daughter copies everything we do Like a sponge...

On the other hand I don't think it would be impossible in terms of getting the child to do what you want for your own short term gains. The bigger issue is that in doing so you would likely develop a character disorder in the child...That is... 'Do as I say not as I do' is a dysfunctional message that I think leads to a lack of self-responsibility in the child....you would therefore want to have a unified front on the discipline front else face these issues...

Also I think it works like, same sex child behaves more like same sex parent, and is attracted to similar behaviors of the opposite sex parent.

Please also note that I am not a psychologist and only have one 2 year old child and could be way wrong about this. I am juts a hobbyist here