Does this sound like bipolar?

Hi there! I've recently had what i think would be described as a hypomanic episode for the first time. It started about 2 weeks ago when i started thinking about asking a girl out and had ideas of being a teacher and sent letters to my former tutors, and then thought about getting into cycling and buying a couple of things off the internet. I'm not really the creative type so it hasn't gone too far, but i wonder whether the periods before this i have been more depressed than normal, i certainly have over the past year.
Over the past 10 years, since i was 15, i've been having these anxiety/panic episodes, or so i thought. I built up so much stress when i was younger due to some friends bullying me at school. Rather than fight back i ran away, which is what i think i have been doing to myself with these episodes. I was always the type that wanted to be nice to people, wanted people to be their friends and agreed with what other people said, i didn't have my own thoughts. In this episode i've been having my own thoughts about things and this has scared me. My mind started saying 'Is that what you really think?' I'm also having impulsive thoughts which i have managed to subdue as that is what i'm used to. I'm subduing them around people as that is when i am being impusive, like feeling irritable about people or thinking i'd like to ###$ them . This has made me depressed at work and i'm not concentrating either. At the start of the episode i was really into work and wanted to do everything right.
I remember when i was younger that when i took some relaxing drugs my anxiety went away but i still had these obsessive thoughts in me. I wondered why it was still happening?
Over the past year i have had thoughts, just one at a time, like wanting to complete my cv so i can get a new job, just little things that i never really thought about as i procrastinated so much after i was bullied.
Does anyone relate to this or understand? I'm talking to a therapist every week at the moment but haven't told her that i think i've got bipolar. Sorry if that was really long but i had to get it out.

Kind regardss, Tom

-- Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:51 pm --

I also have that rapid cycling element too, have had that since i was 15 and couldn't undestand it.
When it started i could stop it by going outside or talking to people but then it would carry on cycling without me doing anything. I think this was the anxiety leaving and the bipolar staying but will shall see.

I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose you. This is just experience and opinion.

It sounds like it could be rapid cycling or bipolar II. Talk to your therapist and check into seeing a pdoc. They can give you a test and talk to you about your experiences and moods. I think it's certainly worth looking into.

Thankyou for the reply. My therapist said she is going to request for me to see a doctor although there is a long waiting list.
Why did it take so long to get to a hypomanic episode? Maybe i was always quite depressed about things? I remember all these different phases in my life where i was sad and they were nearly all brought on by circumstances. This one started i think due to me going to the gym, i was not very fit beforehand but now i am. Maybe this made me happy about myself instead of being sad?
I thought about going to the hospital when i was at work, i felt so guilty and depressed. I I think it's just the obsessive thoughts
Also would like to say that it is so nice to see other people who have the same symptoms, shows i'm not the only crazy one

Tom

why you are just now experiencing hypo mania

1 to rapid cycle you would have episodes of mania or hypomania. This maybe the first real episode. Also, from what I understand, most people would say their bipolar started in their teens or early twenties. Some say it started sooner. Mine did, but it became very pronounced when I was a teenager.

2. You may not have noticed you had a hypomanic episode. I thought I was always really happy.


Yes, it is nice to be on a forum where everyone knows what you're going through and can offer advice based on experience with the illness.