One Night Stand Stress

Well, like already few people said, that was just one night stand *mod edit*, and that is all! You just expect(ed) too much...

cassidy22 wrote:she's going to mail out my sunglasses ASAP.

This is the most important part of this thread right here. Please keep us posted.

I find it valuable to always turn situations around in my mind, so for example...

If she had left her earrings behind and he didn't return them, what would we feel about it?

If it's bothersome then it should apply both ways, and if it's not... etc.

The sunglasses arrived today. I'm still thinking of a way to see her again, but I'm just not sure that's possible. She originally gave me her card to pass along to a friend who needs a child therapist. Turns out my friend was very interested in contacting Jill, so I'm hoping something will happen through that. LOL! I've analyzed the whole thing in my mind and I know we wouldn't get along under any other circumstances(other than a random drunk encounter), so I don't know why I can't just drop this.

cassidy22 wrote:The sunglasses arrived today. I'm still thinking of a way to see her again, but I'm just not sure that's possible. She originally gave me her card to pass along to a friend who needs a child therapist. Turns out my friend was very interested in contacting Jill, so I'm hoping something will happen through that. LOL! I've analyzed the whole thing in my mind and I know we wouldn't get along under any other circumstances(other than a random drunk encounter), so I don't know why I can't just drop this.

Congratulations for the arrival.
You are in your 40s aren't you?
Sometimes I wonder, is this forum/website for serious help for those who desparately need that help OR just for fun and non-sense !!!!!!!

I think your story is disgusting, stupid and complete waste of time.

Reminder -

This is a support forum. Everyone has their own unique life experience, they feel what they feel, and if something is bothering them, well then it does.

Likewise some threads are going to trigger us. The best thing to do is skip threads that are triggering.

Abraham--I noticed from all your posts that you're the only one who solely focused on the sunglasses. That wasn't the main point of the story. The point was why did I feel so disconnected at the time but then started feeling really stressed afterwards to the point I can't even sleep. In fact, I still can't sleep. I didn't consider any of this as "fun." So, if the issue doesn't relate to you personally then it must not be worthwhile? You must be a real treat in person.

cassidy22 wrote:why did I feel so disconnected at the time but then started feeling eally stressed afterwards to the point I can't even sleep. In fact, I still can't sleep. I didn't consider any of this as "fun."

With all joking aside, I'm sorry to hear how this has affected you. It's interesting to me because there's some serious double-standards going on which is frustrating to deal with. Men and women are both put on the spot to have sex. However a key difference in this situation is men are expected to always want sex no matter what. And of course this isn't always true. Most of the time sure, but not always. And in general women aren't as accustomed to rejection as we are. Every time I've turned a woman down they've gone total apeshit. If we refuse, oh boy watch out! Experience teaches us all this "happy wife, happy life" BS but what women fail to realize sometimes is that men have feelings, too.

You didn't really want to have sex but you did it anyway and now you feel used because she's not treating you like a high priority right now. It's completely understandable. Take care of yourself man. Just chalk this up as a learning opportunity and the next time a drunk whore throws herself at you just try to consider the pros and cons. You have to respect yourself enough to admit when you really don't want sex and not be afraid to express your wishes when those rare times inevitably occur.

cassidy22 wrote:Abraham--I noticed from all your posts that you're the only one who solely focused on the sunglasses. That wasn't the main point of the story. The point was why did I feel so disconnected at the time but then started feeling really stressed afterwards to the point I can't even sleep. In fact, I still can't sleep. I didn't consider any of this as "fun." So, if the issue doesn't relate to you personally then it must not be worthwhile? You must be a real treat in person.

I was sad about the expensive nice unreplaceable SunGlasses.

I don't feel "used" by the whole situation. I was definitely a willing participant. I know why I did what I did, I just don't understand how much my feelings changed after. I have no guilt or remorse and I'm glad it happened. But to show how unfunny I think of all this, I started to see a therapist. Something that night must have triggered a bunch of other stuff in the back of my mind. I appreciate some of the advice about this, it really did help. However, I also don't think of this girl as a "drunken whore." She was kind enough to return my sunglasses--that required her going out of her way and spending money to mail them in a nice package. She also sent me a text apologizing for leading me on. I'll always have a lot of respect for her. To quote "The Silver Linings Playbook," --"I have nothing but love for (her)."