***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Thanks Snaga. I can definitely relate to everything you just said.

I didn't realize you also have OCD. Sorry you have to go through this as well

Well thank you- OCD didn't bring me here but it is something I have in spades, although I don't have a formal diagnosis.

How am I feeling today? Wow what a loaded question, I feel groggy from all these meds I have to take just to function, I feel sad that I put such a burden on my husband, I feel happy that im still able to function somewhat. I have a million emotions but when people ask ,me how im feeling I just day " Im fine". Yeah right, ive counted, and checked the contents of my purse 20 times, I don't like to shake hands, I don't like to hug strangers. I MUST know where all my things are at all times, but once again how am I doing today? Fine. I guess.

Hey guys, just posting this here because i feel litterally horrible rn, i was on reddit and i just saw the post of a person who was obsessing about his gender 24/7 and that he was confused, that he wish he was a woman but was scared of surgeries and stuff and then i clicked on his profile and he in fact began to transition and my anxiety just picked af. My brain makes me feel totally disconnected and wrong about my body 24/7 since this obsession has begun and i hate this, i just want to be good with how i was born but it really seems that it'll never be possible because my brain just makes me feel that my body is the wrong and that i should've never been a boy and that i've never been confortable with that and my whole life seems like a lie. I really feel so wrong in my man body right now but my brain keep picturing myself as a woman and makes me feel that's how i have to be but i'm too scared, i just want to be good with my body i don't wan't to transition in my life... i don't know anymore, my brain is just makes me think that i'll be happier if i was a woman and that my life would be better but wtf i never thought about that before, it feels like there's too much proof and that's horrible. My first thought and feeling when i wake up is " you're in the wrong body" and it follows me all day but how my life can be totally upside down in one month? even everything related to men and stuff makes me anxious now. I feel so much disconnected from myself. if somebody wants to answer i feel so alone.

Not good at all. I wish I was a normal human being like others, but having POCD and social anxiety + a extreme fear of death prevents me from being happy at all. It is a daily thing, I get intrusive thoughts, terrible ones. I wish they could go away as I never could hurt a child. The social anxiety issue prevents me from making new friends. And I love having the few friends I have, but my fear of dying prevents me from hanging out with them, because what if I get shot or mugged? If any member here knows how this torment can stop. Thank you...

Not really well, I'm not feeling well AT ALL! I'm honestly scared and worried, and dead on the side. I don't wanna molest a child, it's scary. I don't know if it's due to me being different from people who have POCD. I'm just scared.

Now, I'm gone, feeling as if I should've never existed. Hearing the story of a guy with pocd being contacted by a real pedophile who thought he once had pocd is the worst thing I've seen in my life.

I called work again to ask if the fryer was turned off. I'm a baker, and one of the things I make is doughnuts. Well, I checked about ten to fifteen times to make sure it was turned off. Then, this morning, I hear sirens blaring, and a fire horn. I panic, I call work, instead of going to the bakery, I go to the store manager, who then sends me to the bakery manager, who then tells me that it's turned off and that there's no fire.

I think he knows I have stuff wrong with me. The store manager pretty much was all "are you seriously calling about this?" tone to them, without saying that. The bakery manager was all cool with it. I'm pretty sure, knowing my company, that if it were to catch fire, it'd be his head and mine, but I do this all the time. I tried taking a picture of it, where the light isn't on, and that means it's off. I did that, like, two years ago, and then I'd look at it, and at first, it worked, and then out of nowhere, one day, my brain is all, "hey, what if you took that picture before you turned it on?"

I honestly don't know what to do. I won't be going to the store manager option on the phone. My bakery manager is an older guy, in his fifties, been the manager of that bakery since he was nineteen. I don't know, he's a cool guy.

EDIT: Sorry if this upset anyone.
EDIT 2: I'm doing fine now. He told me that everything was okay, so now I'm okay. I feel like a complete idiot every time I do this though...

I don't think I knew that about you, Tyler?

I have space heaters that I worry about, and will check them multiple times.

I also do the photo thing. Thing is, to do it when you walk away and don't go back to it.

I called a motel once after checking out, I'd got this worry about the coffee maker. I self checked out super early and was meant miles away when the office opened, I just kind of played it cool and just confirmed my check out. Knowing room service would be in there.

It's like this... if the place had been on fire, pretty sure they'd have been like, we can't talk right now, we're on fire!

Maybe try the camera thing, save it for the absolute last thing you do, and TRUST the camera, and yourself. Try not to call. For the days it gets too much, then try and call under another pretext?

Does anyone use or is near the fryer when you're not there?

The more you can try and resist calling, the easier it should get. Try and trust the photo, to help resist the greater urges.

I used to have similar work fears when shutting things down for a while. You have to make yourself check only so much, then walk away.

The temporary isolation due to virus is not helping with my intrusive thoughts, it's hard to find distractions. I have been getting better, but I'm scared I'll spend very long weeks alone in grief