***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

I'm awful, my thoughts are ruining my life. I don't know what to do or where to turn. This is destroying me.

Work... is beyond horrid. Stressful enough, for anyone. Bur for someone with OCD, it's well nigh unbearable. I'm ideating (is that a word? it should be) suicide more and more. Of course, I will not do so, I know OCD turns us into drama llamas. But still, I begin to think anything is preferable to the hell I'm in right at the moment. Horrid boss, moves that make me nervous, to unfamiliar equipment and high expectations. I don't know how much more anxiety I can handle. But... it is what it is.

Finding myself ramping up my rituals... I have to do things a certain way....

^ I know how you feel. Im suicide ideating near constantly. I hate where I live. It is a pit.

I am feeling awesome. My thoughts have become actions. The neighbors who I despise are now scared of me. I have become allies with the strongest of the group. Those who despise me are now .... running scared,

This is what I call happiness ....

My OCD has been good. I haven't had any intrusive thoughts in over a year. I'm able to not perform rituals anymore.

I control my OCD, it doesn't control me anymore.

I'm still pretty good with my intrusive harm thoughts (not counting worrying about things I could cause accidentally) of killing or hurting others on purpose, but I have noticed it's gotten a bit more troublesome. Not like it used to be before I finally figured out how to handle them, but still, it's been trying to gnaw at my toes lately.

My HOCD is back with a vengeance and idk what to do. I posted a new thread about it but idk if that helped me at all.

Feeling okay at the moment, but had a really terrible time today. Keep thinking that I am a narcissist and that all I want is attention. It's terrible. I think I hate this form of OCD the most, even more than when I have HOCD.

I typically have more cerebral symptoms (as opposed to shortness of breath or anything like that), but earlier today I was freaking out so bad that I felt like I was getting tunnel vision and on the verge of passing out. Got all sweaty and weak. First time that has happened to me in a long while.

If you're freaking out you may be a narcissist.... then... I'm guessing OCD.

I... might be lately OCD myself, about being NPD- the covert kind. But... it doesn't frighten me. It just means I'm just that more not-nice than I thought I was. Which of course my brain then says see? You ARE one.... meh. OCD is like salt- it flavours everything.

Also something to keep in mind, is that when you OCD over having a PD, remember they're disorders of personality traits we all possess, to some degree, right? At least, that's my line of thinking. AsPDers lack empathy. Narcissists need the praise we all crave to some extent. BPD takes fear of rejection and shoves a Red Bull down its throat to kick it up to 20 on a 10 level volume knob. Things like that. Too much, or too little, of something.

So yes, of course, especially pwOCD, since we pick everything apart, if you look for this PD or that PD, you're going to glom onto traits that might actually fall below levels at which a shrink would say oh yeah you're a Narcissist. I mean, we're all self-centered, we're human. Lately I think every time I reply in a thread, I make it all about me. See? I've done it, here. It's about me now.

Or... or I'm just imagining it. OCD will have us spinning until we're dizzy.