News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

i have been with first boyfriend for over a year now

i am almost nineteen, i was diagnosed with bpd in november after years of suspicion (parents, therapists, psychiatrists) towards the disorder as an adolescent

i really genuinely adore him, i believe i'm still in love with him, he is my first best friend and was the first person i actually connected with, and he has changed my life in so many healthy progressive ways, ...

Sick of people that try befriend me then turn against me and take it out on me for no reason. It really makes me angry and upset and wonder why i bother trying with anything ?

Does anyone become really angry they just want to smash through things and it comes up like a rush of anger and hard to control?

has anyone here ever had any brain imaging testing done? Like MRI's or CAT scans of your brain? There's a University here that says they're conducting research and it kinda scares me, but at the same time I'm curious to see /know what the results would be as far as my own personal results...So that's why I was asking to see if anyone here ever had any of that type of research or testing done ...

I am in a therapy group using Mindfulness, and I thought I’d pass on what we are learning, and how it’s helped me. I'm going to start making posts about the different things we have learned. Also, a breathing/ thinking technique you can try.

1. Non judgement.
Reading the posts on here about what’s going on in your lives, I can see how judgmental BPDers are of themselves, and this is hard not to do, ...

I think this is an existenial crisis, how lame. But its hard nonetheless.

I am not sure I want life. Its amazing and I know despite the bad days go, but I just can't deal with them at all. The amazing times are great, but I don't care about them. I don't want this at all. I am not going to kill my self. what the... what am I even doing

Yay or nay?

or Covert yay? meaning expressing disapproval, with inner gratification

or covert nay? meaning expressing approval, with inner disapproval.

How do you feel about this?
Of course this can apply to any social group.

I have a friend who confides in me, she says she ends up in casual situations she feels loved cared for but it is short lived and then self punishes herself because she feels her behavior brings it on ...

My therapist wants me to see the gray areas. But all i see are black amd white. Good or bad.i cant just like myself, so i hate myself. No middle. Im hopeless, worthless,helpless and useless. I dont know why i see thingslike that i just do. Its what comes natural to me. There is no good so it must be all bad. Thats why i have no use living.

My therapist wants me to see the gray areas. But all i see are black amd white. Good or bad.i cant just like myself, so i hate myself. No middle. Im hopeless, worthless,helpless and useless. I dont know why i see thingslike that i just do. Its what comes natural to me. There is no good so it must be all bad. Thats why i have no use living.

Just wondered whether anyone identifies with this as it's a lifelong pattern that's causing me pain.

I've started to realise that I act like a child around people who intimidate me for whatever reason, or who I want to like me. I quite literally lower my head and speak in a child-like, please-like-me tone then feel horrible and enraged. But when I do say what I feel openly I'm so scared of being rejected or ...

There's a section for PD NOS already but it seems to be very quiet and I'd like as many responses as possible from people who know about general Personality Disorder criteria, I'm not specifically asking whether or not I have Borderline in particular, just any or NOS in particular.

So here's the skinny: I just came out of a pretty major bout of psychiatric illness that lasted all of 2011 that included during autumn mania ...