Shopping, money, hobbies and sharing

Allegra, in March I wouldn't have known what you were saying -- as in, there's a tarot deck that has something to do with baseball!? -- but now we know exactly what you're referring to and have strong opinions -- and I agree.

From the outside, this kind of interest looks like a hobby, but since I often feel detached from the desire and have a sense of shame about it (it's not rational, purposeful activity), these interests have felt more like bizarre or inexplicable obsessions. It's nice to hear from an alter who innocently explains, look, I like tarot cards, they're cool. And I admit we've had insights as a result of reading cards for ourselves for situations, which is Nigel's point.

There's also a sense of getting absorbed in something new to avoid thinking about things. Sort of like vegging out in front of the TV, which we also do. I don't know the exact pattern or alters involved, other than Nigel and probably Mxyzptlk, but I'm getting there. It's challenging to delve into a mechanism whose purpose is in part to distract endlessly.

Hearing you. Our distraction of choice is FreeCell. The Tarot is a legitimate interest for us.

We don't do predictions or readings for other people. We study Tarot purely for personal and metaphysical insight. We use the Waite deck for studying the principles of Tarot itself, and the Baeball Tarot deck for spiritual insight, since baseball in general resonates for us in this way.

Might it be possible that Nigel (and/or others) finds a deeper meaning in the Tarot in addition to using it as a distraction? I'm not saying that this is definitely so, but it might be worth considering.

Allegra and others

I love tarot. Seangel got these and they are ######6 cool

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/gh ... d-spirits/

The art is so amazing really.

I can get sucked into obsessive thinking when I am stressed out as a way to disengage from worries. I really like to look at decor and houses for sale and dream about my garden.

Tarot is not such an unusual hobby. it sounds like the spending has been pretty excessive. Right now we are kicking three decks. The gilded, shadowscapes, and a beautifully recolored pocket rider-waite.

In defense of it not being practical/rational... tarot is mystical so it can be hard to explain. But, I think that since it uses visual representations of archetypes and universal themes it allows us to examine patterns and relationships that bypasses our conscious thought process and can sometimes impact us with startling revelations. Tarot can provide a new way to look at old problems. I have in the past done tarot for money. But readings can get very intimate and I prefer to restrict my clientele to friends. There are some people I just didn't like reading.

I have seen some dramatic experiences and really impactful changes in my clients.

It is nice to have a couple of good decks. I have passed on the ones that didn't click for me. Each deck has its own personality and they don't all work well with the reader or readee. I can't imagine spending that much on Tarot though. Yikes!

I thought it was very touching that you weren't reproachful, but supportive. We bicker a bit. And I would like for us to get better at cooperating and sharing and being supportive. It is hard when there is such a wide spread of interests. I bet I could spend a million dollars in one week getting everything we want!

We haven't so far gotten obsessive about any hobbies I don't have some interest in, like we don't get into Hello Kitty or World War II planes, though the fact that these two images came up makes me wonder if somebody isn't interested.

Nigel is our only mystical, non-rational thinker, or he holds this trait primarily, I don't know. He fluctuates in age from 12 to 20, it's odd. Our father died when we were 12 and I think there's a connection. He's sometimes juvenile but when he reads aloud for us to help us concentrate, he's college age. And he's the only one who still speaks with a British accent, like the grandparents. Too many questions to ignore. We do EMDR because it breaks through our rational inquiry, like tarot. Nigel has all sorts of mystical beliefs that don't fit ours and I want to support the diversity because some of us can be not very flexible in our thinking.

Hobbies and toys can be ridiculously expensive. We have dozens of coloring books. I just counted 51 stuffed animals or similar on my bed for Nic's and my littles. Nic's littles are afraid to have them around their bed because TK sleeps naked and stuff. Annie said she liked princesses so we got a whole bunch of princess stick-on pads. We have a ton of Hardy Boys mysteries and similar for the boys 8-12. We have sooo may other toys, dozens of Xbox, blocks, Lego, kid's books, hundreds and hundreds of WildRepublic figurines. And I won't even mention all the crazy stuff Nic bought the adults and the little girls and boys.

I'm not particularly poor but I'm never going to be able to retire the way we're going. And there's not as much playing as the toys indicate. In some ways I'm quite frugal, in others massively irresponsible (well, due to triggers).

I'm totally afraid to have people over because it would mean I'd have to deal with their looks or questions or hide some of the stuff before they came over. I'm not complaining though, these areas are the least of my concerns.

Im-pure wrote:I love tarot. Seangel got these and they are ######6 cool

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/gh ... d-spirits/

The art is so amazing really.

Agreed on the quality of the artwork, though we're not into ghosts. The key is that it resonates with you, as the Baseball Tarot deck resonates with us.

Allegra and others

-- Sun Oct 11, 2015 3:23 am --

Johnny-Jack,

We too have numerous stuffies on our bed, probably around 45 or so. It's part of what our kids need to feel safe, particularly at home, and especially considering the fact that we rent the upstairs of a house, and the landlord has a key. We know from experience that he wouldn't enter our apartment without our permission, but try convincing system mates who operate in vigilance mode 24/7.

We also share the "what will outside people think" concern. But we never have people over anyway, so the concern has become moot, although it does tie in with our tendency to isolate and with the issue of whether such tendencies are unhealthy.

Allegra and others

I totally get where you're coming from OP. Recently, a couple of my alters decided to run off to Walmart with my SSI money. One, the girl, got clothes and make up. The other, the male, got a new computer and a PS3. This might have been okay, but that I am living in a group home type of situation, and they basically stole the money that was meant to pay for my stay here. Luckily the director was understanding when I came clean about what really happened...

On top of that, I've been getting a little homemade DVD/ CD thing going lately. It really just pays enough to keep me in blank disks. It's more like a charity thing I've been doing, to help out the other residents and staff that aren't great with computers and such. A good movie can go a long way to make someone feel like a person again, even in a place like this. Then yesterday the male decided to take all the profits and buy cigarettes. Now I'm out of disks and moeny... Quite aggravating. >.<

I really like ManyHearts idea of an inner Token System. I'm going to speak with the others about implementing something like that. I think it's something they might actually go for, too. Thanks for the tip. ^_^

whelp, I am not going to have to hear anymore bitching about the playstation. Cuz we hauled off on a ps4 purchase. very immature, and barely justified.



buts! we loves it!

I just realized that the reason we don't usually have problems about buying stuff is because of how scared everybody is to want anything. If it's important then other people can use it to hurt you so we don't let ourselves want anything. If we really like something then we might try to save it and that's a mistake. Sometimes if we start to like something too much we give it away or destroy it to show we don't care. That feels safer but really really sad.

Iain

ah, the old "Attachment causes suffering"

kinda too true. but, how you phrase does sound... I wish I had a different word than sad.... a better more descriptive word. the way you explain it sucks. I wish you guys could have things you like and want that make you happy.

things are just things and that's what I tell myself when I have lost and sold so much. I was a rolling Stone for a long time.

now I have started putting down roots and have stuff. I actually have way too much stuff! I have a 1400 Sq ft house full of stuff! but I am trying to pare down to where I love everything I have. less is more.

when my mom died all her stuff was overseas. it was not practical to ship stateside. out of all her stuff. I chose one vase that was beautiful and reminded me of her. and now I am glad I only have that one thing but I am scared of getting it broken.

I am really sorry that somewhere down the line, somebody was so #######5 to you, you destroy your own possessions to prove it doesn't hurt you.

I have that attitude in some ways, but not with material things.

I hope you can enjoy more things without fear. we are little earth bound creatures after all. and a few creature comforts are nice.

**do you know I even have my own fluffy unicorn just like Agnes in despicable me?**