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Roll Call

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Re: Roll Call

Postby KitMcDaydream » Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:47 am

Wow you all seem to have so many!

I wonder if there's anymore in our system Kit never realised?

We are

Kit (original self, born into body)
Bobby (child alter, never comes out but sends thoughts mainly to Kit)
Thea (host for 15 years in late teens to mid 30's)
Maddie (host from mid 30's to late 40's)
Sioux - me! .. I was actually present in Kit's early teens and dealt with school until Kit first experienced hearing loss, then seem to have been recalled recently, as Kit after trying for the last year or so to be the only host up front and live 'as herself' as realised she can't 'manage life' without at least one host to deal with everything social.

Kit has said she did have others what they thought as 'imaginery friends' during childhood but they haven't been seen since before I first took over 'school duties' in secondary school. Whether they were in fact 'child alters' too we don't know as obviously we had no idea about DID back then.

Kit has mentioned another male voice who told her what to do in a medical emergency but she didn't know whether this is was just her memories of what her dad would have told her to do if he was still here or whether there's someone else in there. Kit thought it disturbing to think there was a 'strange man inside' and preferred to believe it was her dad sending messages from above (ie as an angel - he passed away some years ago) to help her. If there are others they have never made themselves known to any of others. None of us (5) have any memories of Kits early life from birth to around 7-8yrs old, so there maybe another 'little' in there somewhere protecting us from those memories?
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Re: Roll Call

Postby Amythyst » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:13 pm

So its been a while since we did a roll call thing, and usually v2 does that stuff but I'm gonna do it this time. :) We'll go alphabetically cos its fair and stuff. First up, here's the 17 of us we know for sure.

Arin - 22yo female - when we first met her she was a little still dealing with trauma stuff but last january she grew up and came out front and became one of our like regular front people. She's into photography. She went deep into the void tho in the summer and has been sorta inactive since then. :(

Charlie - 6yo male - he's a protector, he used to be really worried about other littles coming out and exposing us or whatever, but since our 'crisis' started we're pretty florid or whatever so that job isn't so important. The other thing he does tho is he kinda takes pain for us if we get hurt. He's pretty brave and stuff. He likes legos and star wars, and starwars legos. :)

Claire - age slider female - she holds some of our oldest trauma stuff. She appears either as an infant or a 20yo girl. She has a lotta depression and sadness and despair. She's still deep inside in the dark place.

Ewan - 4yo male cat - he was originally a boy and had a lotta trauma stuff going on, mostly with like abandonment issues and stuff. He really wanted a mommy but we couldn't give him that, so "L" turned him into a cat, now he's happy. Right now, Melissa and Janet and Charlie look after him inside.

"Guardian" - 28yo male - he's a protector, he stays inside and watches over the ones in the dark place or who have lotsa trauma stuff still. He keeps us and them separate, like protects the rest of the system from them, and protects them from us? He doesn't talk much, we dunno much about him.

Janet - age slider female - she's sometimes 4yo and sometimes maybe 12yo. We don't know much about her, she is secretive and hides alot inside.

Kate - 17/22yo female catgirl - she is currently keeping herself isolated in her own private inner world. Her age thing is a bit wierd cos she's 22 but looks 17. She's smart, studying biochem in university (in her inner world). She doesnt want anything to do with the rest of us & hates having DID and stuff, so keeping herself isolated makes her happy and spares the rest of us from her negative thots about us.

"L" - 14/infinite female - another wierd age thing, she looks like a 14yo girl but her age is like 'infinity' or something. she's super powerful, magic, fae or sorceress or something. She can fix things inside, change things, change alters. But she doesn't do anything that isn't wanted. She's sorta mystical too. She's like 'neutral' tho, like not good or evil. She doesn't like her name written out tho so we just use her first initial to talk about her.

Melissa - 7yo female - our most active little, tho she's been quiet alot lately. She likes cartoons, my little pony, moana, tangled, and a few others. She knows alot about our system, she's been active for a long time and knows her way around and stuff.

Mike - 35yo male - he's another protector, he watches out for like outside threats. like people trying to use us or deceive us, physical threats & danger & stuff. When hes not doing that, he likes hockey & football (soccer) & sometimes f1 racing.

Nyssa - 10yo female - she's kinda difficult to understand sometimes, she likes darkness and death and blood and stuff. she sometimes makes us bleed cos she wants to "make sure were still alive". We're pretty sure she holds like, all the times we shoulda died when we were little.

Rebecca - 30/infinite female - another wierd age thing, she's like ageless and doesn't usually have a body, but when she does it's sorta 30ish woman. She's myterious and stuff, but she acts like an observer, she keeps her emotions suppressed, and she's also sometimes a protector - she protects us from ourselves, like if we're gona do something stupid or dangerous. She fronts when we go into like complete crisis shutdown. She likes tea. :)

Tegan - 5yo female - she's another trauma holder. She lives sorta locked in a tower inside, and experiences loneliness but shes also afraid to be with people and stuff. We don't know much more about her.

V1 - 22yo female - one of our main front people. She's the one who first took over after previous host went away. She was originally mostly here for like health and fitness and stuff, but after she took over she had to expand and do more. She has anxiety problems and disappeared for like 13 or 14 months once cos she was overwhelmed. Also likes body piercing / body mods.

V2 - 16yo female - another main front person. She likes to be social and be with friends and stuff, likes pop music & also likes body piercing / body mods. Currently hiding / sulking inside cos she's mad at V1 lol.

Viola - 17yo female catgirl - (me!) another main front person. Recently went through some big changes inside and still figuring myself out, but for now doing most of the fronting for our system.

"Waste" - unknown - another trauma holder, we don't know what they look like at all. Inside they appear as (or hiding under) a pile of literal trash. feelings of like, worthnessness, uselessness, hopelessness, they feel like they're literally garbage. :(

In addition to all them, there's 2 we don't know for sure, they're like fragments or whatever maybe?

"Anger" - unknown - pure emotion, rage, destructive anger. We don't feel anger so much and we think it gets like syphoned off and stored and when it overflows we blow up and yell and shout and break stuff. So "Anger" only comes out at home, alone, where noone can see. We're trying not to let that happen tho cos its ungood.

"Maddie" - unknown - when "anger" is frustrated and can't come out, sometimes it turns into "Maddie" which is sorta the same but the violence directs back on us. Like instead of smashing furniture or whatever, it makes us wanna hurt our body instead. :(

And finally theres 2 we know for sure used to exist but we know for sure they don't exist any more.

"previous host" - 18yo female - she was our main front person / public face / body name from just before the body's 18th birthday till our DID crisis started in 2017. She didn't know about DID or being multiple or whatever. Lotsa denial and stuff. When the crisis began she couldn't deal with it and she ended herself. Sorta made herself disolve or disintigrate or whatever, like smoke in the wind. Eventually a new alter formed from her dust or whatever.

"first host" - we don't like talkinga bout them at all. even previous host hated them. they kept us alive for the first 17 years or so, thats the nicest thing we can say. They weren't gonna keep us alive much longer tho. they hung around in the system for a few years after preivous host took over then they just faded away. Eventually a new alter formed outta their dust or whatever.

So that's all that we know of.

Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Viola(17f); et cetera
Dx: DID; previously depression, bipolar.(New) Journey Thread
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Re: Roll Call

Postby MakersDozn » Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:39 pm

Thanks for the update, Viola!

Body cis ♀ (1962). Realized 1996 that we're multiple. System of 47, all cis: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (0-7+), 9 middles (8-11+), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+), + formless yin/yang.

Notable: Charity 25 (oldest), Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Roll Call

Postby Johnny-Jack » Mon Dec 09, 2019 12:33 am

This is the key to our "Periodic Table of alters" signature. We have more detail in this blog post and its comments, but the blogs don't do formatting like bold or colors and some of our littles insist on everyone having their own color! There may be other alters, we're not sure.

*** Trigger Warning -- mention of abuse as the cause of many alters ***

Ab Abel 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
Ad Adam <1. infant much healed from his fronting to fall asleep; identified as original or "core"
Al Alvin 2. one of “punk group” created to deal with father’s teen bully alter; “red boots” trauma
Am Abraham ~10. programmed by father towards not divulging abuse
An Andre 6-7. brave boy who suffered group SA from father’s friends
Ar Aaron 44. created accidentally when we thought that if we had DID we could just create another person; has character traits we felt to be ideal at that time; linked to Jonathan
As Ashár 2. wolfdog endured ritualized torture; originally no ability to speak or walk on two legs, highly triggered when body feels even slightly immobilized

Ba Bartholomew 4. dealt with mother’s unprovoked physical abuse
Be Ben 2. one of “punk group” created to deal with father’s teen bully alter
Br Brody 9. resilient kid, likes football; endured father’s SA; only alter besides Sphinx reachable at all times

Ca Carl 2+. one of “punk group” created to deal with father’s teen bully alter
Cb Caleb 5½. pushed being quiet or silent to avoid detection by parents or, now, for other dangers
Ch Chase 7. rich boy, very polite and proper; attached to English grandmother; originally felt manual labor was beneath him; SA by grandfather
Cl Clark 1. endured physical abuse by mother, strong fear of knives and hands feeling trapped
Cm Cam 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
Cn Colt/Colton 2½. one of “punk group” created to deal with father’s teen bully alter; basement
Co Cole 7. endured father’s early-morning SA in basement
Cp Casper 4. ghost of a dead boy who endured mother’s physical abuse late at night
Ct Carter 6½. host succeeded by John, whom he still influences emotionally; sentimental; piano; attached to American grandmother, devastated by her death
Cu Cully 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
Cv Cal/Calvin 17. a host in high school, stands in during therapy when John can’t deal

D Dan/Daniel 15. jock, loves physical activity; “killed” internally at age 9 but still influenced us; resurrected a few years back; holds the natural straight sex drive
Eb Eberly 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
Ed Edward 1½. toddler knight holding cardinal law that we must be good, not bad like parents
Er Erik 2½. one of “punk group” created to deal with father’s teen bully alter
Es Estes 6. feels like hope personified, as yet unreached
F Faolán 14. detacher though not as extreme as Ulric
Fl Flynn 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA

Ga Gaul 40. sexual alter, replaced Quato at age 19
Gd Godwin 6. took groin-punches and other abuse by mother when we were praised by others in a way that made mother jealous; tied to Michael
Go Gordon 13. jaw dislocated by mother for not complying with SA; safeguards Pehr, both are behind the wall of 7 “card” alters
Gr Greg 6. abused by a policeman, arranged by father, mellow but fearful
Gw Gwen/Gwendolyn 50s. originally a fairy godmother; doesn’t front; pervasive influence on John; arrived with him when beloved American grandmother died; Gwen holds her spirit; one of 2 female alters

He Henry 2. remained calm when abandoned in public by mother
Hk Hank 8. dealt with father’s attempt to manipulate ‘enjoying’ SA
Hs Hansel 4. twin of Johann, whom Hansel cheers up; mischievous; arrived in a trio with Quato
Ht Hoyt 13. country boy, "greeter" for the 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
I Inky 5. handled mother’s attempts to lure or push us into traffic; highly triggered by vehicles or children left alone in dangerous situations

J John 50s. host outside work; manages therapy, posts on this forum; arrived along with Gwen at age 6; primary attacher to mother, family, and close friends.
Jh Johann 4. twin of Hansel, somber because punished for not cooperating with SA from father; arrived in a trio with Quato
Jk Jack 11. hillbilly boy speaking Appalachian dialect; attached to an outside family; relentlessly pushed us to realize he existed, thus confirming DID; casual Christian; most independent alter, most aligned with physical body
Jn Jonathan 33. business-oriented former host, went to grade school for us, traditionalist; much value from his attachment to father; highly influential from inside ages 10-33, arrived age 6
Jy Johnny 50s. extroverted social and work host, high social skills, replaced Little John at age 2½

Ke Kent 5. highly traumatized by SA in father’s law office
Ki Killian 29. alien, senior of 2 unemotional humanoids who push "card" alters to front; aka Morg
Kn Kellen 28. alien, junior of 2 unemotional humanoids who push "card" alters to front; aka Org
Ky Kyle 16. holds extreme rage; association with the word "bubble"
Li Little John 3. first discovered alter; a host replaced by Johnny; value was remaining quiet and unnoticed, for safety; only one who knew how to pull DID mother's good alter to front
Lu Luke 8. farm boy, loves physical movement; only alter attached to both parents; SA by uncle

Md Marc-Dominic 40s. bolsters self-confidence in situations of power imbalance; advocates good manners, sophistication, pride, in self and some outside people
Mi Michael 5½. endured SA from mother in a dark closet, originally mute, tied to Godwin
Mt Matt 7. mellow kid who imagines physically hurting parent-abusers for us; loves airplanes
Mx Max 3½. spunky but originally frozen in terror; host-like and may precede Carter and John
Mz Mxyzptlk/Mick 13. mischievous, active fronter but undetectable until a couple years ago; seems linked to "card" alters

Ne Neville 20. English fellow, reads aloud (in grandma's Brit accent) so we focus and retain info
Ni Nigel 12. English lad holding interest in mysticism to balance hyper-skeptical thinking
O Orval 11. dealt with late night group abuse outside home arranged by father
Pe Pehr 13. dead for now; holds memory of mother’s SA; safeguarded by Gordon, behind the wall of 7 “card” alters
Pi Pip 3+. orphan holding imaginative plans to run away from home to find a better home and family; trauma is his desire to escape vs. his felt obligation to protect little sister

Q Quato 19. sexual alter; sometime trickster, very dark, sarcastic; was effective liar when needed well into adulthood; averse to traditional power structures and Christianity; often suicidal; arrived in trio with Hansel & Johann
Ra ‘Raisin’ Annie 4. little girl, likes princesses; came so we could play gently with little sister; relegated to, then rescued from another dimension; one of 2 female alters
Rd Randy 10. protected Jonathan from conflict and guilt due to growing awareness of father's abuse of sister; held desire for escape, annihilation; hence suicidal thoughts
Ry Ryder 40. under-appreciated host responsible for majority of our career and life success; organized, serious, highly productive, especially under deadline; avoids social interactions

Sc Scott 4. kept us safely in one place when abandoned in public by dissociating mother
Se Seamus ~6. associated with gorging when feeling starved; endured father’s SA
Sh Sheldon 2. first known of “punk group”, created to deal with father’s teen bully alter
Sk Sky 8. with Vince, handled father’s threats not to reveal abuse; memorized ‘poem’ of instructions
Sx Sphinx ∞. entity, internal self helper, gatekeeper; unemotional; when asked, can access life event history but needs help from alters with life experience to interpret these memories

Tk Tuck 13. country boy, one of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
Ty Ty 10. English lad, provided positive attachment to English grandfather, despite his SA
U Ulric 15. a bogeyman, originally dead; a major detacher from people close to us; now helps us set effective boundaries; arrived with Wats
V Vince 8, with Sky, handled father’s threats not to reveal abuse; choked

Wa Wats/Watson 4. knocked out and locked in box by mother; his skill is finding escape routes; arrived with Ulric
Wi Will 13. country boy, least known of 7 “cards”, a group created to deal with maternal SA
X Xavi 8. a tornado, originally blocked recall of trauma by whipping up a mental dust storm of confusion, followed by amnesia for the forgetting
Y Yanni 8. created the surprisingly effective avoidance behavior of falling asleep or appearing to
Ze Zeb <1. experienced weird SA by father; sweet and giggly
Zn Zane 10. holds overwhelming despair so he exists in another dimension

12 infants & toddlers (to age 2), 23 littles (age 3–7), 14 middles (age 8–12), 17 teens (age 13–19), 11 adults (age 20+), 1 ageless
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Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Roll Call

Postby vortexvoid » Mon Dec 09, 2019 5:06 pm

I have really enjoyed this thread and it makes me feel like it's okay to say who's who. At least here. Our signature has names, but nothing more detailed. I'm gonna try to go in order of appearance:

The Kid - 4yo, sees everything and is often scared and lonely, but not allowed to speak

Critic - 40ish? angry, critical yelling lady. She keeps everyone else from talking to The Kid. I think she's a protector, but she doesn't realize her methods are damaging and ineffective.

Jukebox - literally a fifties diner jukebox. Plays songs to drown out Critic's yelling. Sometimes delivers messages via songs

Rachel - 14yo girl, emotionally volatile, passionate, acts out and self injures as coping mechanisms. "sister" to Rachel Joy

Rachel Joy - 16yo girl, calm and detached, handles stress and trauma by floating out of body from it. Has become a sort of inner manager by default, as she is the best at handling everyday stress. "sister" to Rachel.

SS3NDASS - ageless, little demon/alien girl, purple skin and black eyes, writes in secret language and keeps secrets for the whole system, especially The Kid.

Killer - adult male serial murderer, wears a black mask. Actually a protector who tries to eliminate any possible needs we can't meet.

Void - ageless, genderless, shaved head, anorexic. An attempt to " wipe the slate clean" . Shows up before new alters emerge.

Keda - 21ish girl, submissive and dedicated, wants to serve someone else who will make decisions and keep her safe, "sister" to Taty

Taty - 26ish girl, dominant and independent, manipulates and charms, "sister" to Keda.

Rae - 30yo, genderless, analytical and emotionless, created to go to school and work

Raelly - 15ish girl, teen babysitter who seems to be stuck in the 1980s. Relatively carefree and fun, seems unaware of trauma. Possibly arrived to help The Kid.
Rae - current host

The Others:
Rachel, Rachel Joy, Keda, Taty, SS3NDASS, Killer, Critic, Kid, Void, and Jukebox

Our journey of discovery and getting to know each other
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