How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Hope you Bees feel better soon. Good luck with all the tests and stuff.

Glad your T can skype with you tonight MDs and hope it helps you feel back grounded.

V2 we always get really tired after seeing T too. Hope you have some self care planned into your night.

Zami hope the others were able to calm your anxiety. We think it was really brave of you to speak up about your boundaries to your "abuse-allower".

Spent most the day making dresses for teddy's as the Littles do not approve of no clothes for them. Was fun. Then dialogued about some system guidelines for therapy as a couple Littles wanted T to keep secrets from me as host. Explained to them we don't have to have anymore secrets and we are good safe. Take care everyone.

hbodhi wrote:Zami hope the others were able to calm your anxiety. We think it was really brave of you to speak up about your boundaries to your "abuse-allower".

Doing better, thank you for caring. I had some sort of meltdown yesterday, but again, the other residents, and our good friends Team PSI, reminded me that it's all part of the same abuse system, and if it is, it's proof that the abuse took place, rather than proof I "made it all up" like "abuser" and "abuse-allower" repeated me. So I'm also feeling better about that too.

I hate going down that spiral. I always come up from it, but the going down gets old.

--Zami--

Hi,

We had a really hard T session last week then got sick this weekend. Probably not a coincidence. We're kind of weak in T right now since some of us haven't made the change to the new T. That means the whole team isn't there to help when things go wrong. We're going to have to take a look at that. This T works harder and faster than the old T. We're going to need everybody working together for this one.

Iain

IainEtc wrote:This T works harder and faster than the old T. We're going to need everybody working together for this one.

Iain

It's also ok to tell her that and to ask her to slow down and take it easier for you. Working harder and faster might be good when you're training for the Olympics or something, but it's not a good idea for therapy!
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Now that things are better with our T, we're back to realizing all the things that are wrong between us and the husband guy. I started writing more about that here, but I'll move it to my journey thread. We're trying to stay grounded in right now and today, but feeling kind of despairing and hopeless underneath.

unsurprisingly we are having trouble keeping up since the terrible awful horrible no- good, very bad day on Thursday. when I had that stupid EEG, TAFKAR fussed me like grumpwad, and kiddo did a big safety no-no. whoever was hosting- I think Big B - just quit.

work was ###$ up and we didn't get much done. and had to live early for kids MRI which was a circus because I cant drive and her dad sucks. but I got through it. it made me really sick but I knew I needed to be there for her. an mri at 11 is a big deal.

so I'm home. I'm tired. I'm grumpy and confused. I was gonna go to the beach but its still hot and I'm tired. so I postponed a few weeks. I know going to the beach will good for me. body, mind, and soul.

until then I'm juggling on the high-wire....

I wish I was pay more attention for others but is big tough times right now and cannot keep pur own selves straight. we is cancelling out many on the calendar things. I guess we have been stressed and that's putting us in a stamina defecit. which brings on the vomiting. which makes me worse because I struggle to get nutrition and hydration. so I gotta fix the stress. but I dont remember what I'm stressed about? i guess it's just money and being sick and doing everything anyway. idk. I didn't mean for this to be so long.

many have T things go on. they are new or sick or not click or not listen. hope everybodies T problems.more better soon.

Hey BeccaBee,

We hope everything is ok for your daughter. MRI is a big deal for anyone but 11 is really big.

We hope you're doing ok too. I know you got so much going on but I hope you're taking care of yourself too.

We're thinking about you & sending good thoughts.

Viola & the rest of the team

thanks you. we did forget about that actually. we gonna do better and remember to eat and stuff. what is the rules of take care the body?

eat. sleep. shower. drink water. right? am I forget? oh fresh air and sunshine. we need that too. ok is good advice thank you we forget about that.

daughter ok. her have absence seizures. her have too many. and her vision change. and so she get MRI. brain ok. but her is missing doses of her medicine. or not take enough. her blood levels not register the medicine. so we have to watch watch her. actually go in her mouth and be gone for make sure.

her dad is doofus. he never listen to me. last night I know he is with girlfriend and texting me what she say. him stupid. i tell him two years now about her seizures. I show him. this seizure. wait. now it over. HIM NEVER LISTEN. last night he ask.... "what is the name of her diagnosis and what medication is she taking".....okay okay. maybe he not know medicine name but how can he not know her have absence seizures. him stupid asshole. that's why his name tafkar. I be nice even though he be stupid asshole. I just text it him so he can google and maybe his girlfriend explain him and he listen. because he never listen me about nothing.

I dont know why we is so tired. but is probably why everything get on our nerves bad.

we have much work for catch up and needs get done. work is stress. kid is stress. health is stress. life is stress change cars make stress. no money make stress.

soon I get paid, make other car have all the stickers and plates. and buy groceries. and rest this weekend. then we get better soon. and we really be better when check from.car comes and we put little stack away for emergency. then we have peace of mind. then we really get better. money is big time stress but we did make it so good. really proud we do good job six months disability pay. survive.

soon also I get more neck shots and that big help. they do put anesthetic and steroid on the cranial nerves and it make me not as sick. two weeks I get more!!!! is like magic. today I hungry and my ear hurts. and gotta cut my hair again. is too long.

I need a vacation. we've spent too much time only regulating, stopping flashbacks, orientation and grounding...
someone needs to come up with new orientation and grounding exercises cause they start to bother me.
having to regulate us all the time is bothering me. I want a quiet week without absurd trigger situations. and I want to sleep.
some of it is getting thru to me, that things really happened. and I want a pillow and hot tea and time to cry. and I don't even begin to understand why Age isn't crying all the time.

Hey L,

Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed with this stuff.

Can you take some time off from all that work, just relax a bit and let yourself recover or stabilize or whatever? Enjoy the tea, and take some time to cry if that helps?

Viola

we are only focussing on the normal stuff we do. Somehow most of the system went somewhere else and I keep the front with Asti. We try to sleep a lot and then do only things that have nothing to do with our own past or system. like a little break? as much as we can have.
I cried a little today. somehow I can't cry over our stuff, so I cried about something else. like it doesn't even matter.