How are you today thread (trigger warning)

IainEtc wrote:Hi MDs,

Sometimes staying calm takes everything you've got. Good luck.

Iain & Colin

Yes. Thank you. More in our journey thread, linked below.

Charity

Feel really confused, sad/depressed, worried about telling anyone about us, feel rejected, feel like garbage. Can't get a new therapist because over half of them don't take "our" insurance. Other ones aren't taking new patients or are booked full for MANY MANY Months. "We" need help NOW. The one that "we" decided on hasn't called back to schedule, so not sure what is up with that. Called multiple times. Must not want to see "us" either. Very upsetting.

Not sure why, but feel all alone. Feel like "we" need someone to talk to- but yet the others are horrified about the idea of anyone finding out about them. On here is okay, because I'm keeping the body's name anonymous, but they still are somewhat leery. Don't know what to do. "Our" mom knows and is very supportive of "us" which is very helpful, but we all have our own problems. How can we help each other?


Should I write a note to communicate to the host (who wrote above me)? There is so much I feel I should tell them. But then maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. -Weirdo

Hi Ponyta,

It's rough, I know. When our DID blew up last year, Rebecca found us a T but there was a 2 month waiting list. At first we thought, 2 months is no big deal. Turned out a lot happens in 2 months lol.

You're very lucky to have a supportive mother. Ours was quite the opposite, though she might slowly be coming around. Luckily our closest friends have been very supportive, otherwise I'm not sure how we'd have managed.

What we did have, was support and learning from this forum, and we also read a bunch of books. Some were better than others. And looked into other DID information websites and stuff. Basicaly tried to educate ourselves and start trying to figure things out on our own. It hasn't been easy but I think we've done ok, all things considered.

Hi Wierdo, if there's really important stuff the host needs to know, maybe it'd be good to share it with them. But it's also risky to share too much. Hosts sometimes think they want to know stuff but then it turns out to be overwhelming and they get freaked out. At least, that's what I've learned in our system.

Good luck.

------

I'm back after 3 1/2 days, and it seems like a lot has happened. Actually a lot has happened over the past week or two I guess...

I'm tired and achey and covered in bug bites from the teen's hike yesterday. And I saw Melissa was actually fronting for a bit at the start of their hike, and met and spoke with our best friend, which was a surprise to everyone I think... She also wrote a page in our journal.

And I see someone has put kids' streamers on the handlebars of our bike while I was gone. And there's a pile of work waiting for me on the desk lol, I guess the teen didn't feel like working.

Violet 1

I think DID is the only diagnosis where they assume that you are making it up.

I had my intake at a clinic and there were sooo many intrusive questions and then when I answered they were like: "How long have you been talking like this?" and "Have you been reading about DID?" and "WHY didn't your therapist send you earlier?"
How could I know why she didn't?

I handled it, but then I burst into tears at the final question. "What are your biggest triggers?"

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I did expect a fraction of empathy.

you know how we always stress that people will notice? but even when they notice- they don't "know-tice"!!!

at work this morning I passed a cube neighbor on the way to coffee pot. he says, "good morning! you look like a completely different person from yesterday!"

bwahahahahhaha, dude. you have no idea!!!!!

goes to show--- they'll never know unless you tell them! even when they notice it - they don't realize what they are noticing....

fireheart wrote:I think DID is the only diagnosis where they assume that you are making it up.

I had my intake at a clinic and there were sooo many intrusive questions and then when I answered they were like: "How long have you been talking like this?" and "Have you been reading about DID?" and "WHY didn't your therapist send you earlier?"
How could I know why she didn't?

I handled it, but then I burst into tears at the final question. "What are your biggest triggers?"

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I did expect a fraction of empathy.

Was just writing an email to my T to be with this question; why aren't there 'spot the faker' workshops for T's who deal with schizophrenia, autism, etc?

I'm sorry they were so rude to you.

fireheart wrote:I think DID is the only diagnosis where they assume that you are making it up.

I had my intake at a clinic and there were sooo many intrusive questions and then when I answered they were like: "How long have you been talking like this?" and "Have you been reading about DID?" and "WHY didn't your therapist send you earlier?"
How could I know why she didn't?

I handled it, but then I burst into tears at the final question. "What are your biggest triggers?"

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I did expect a fraction of empathy.

I get some of the questions for intake because sometimes they have to ask things to cover there own backs. But other stuff like what are your biggest triggers that's just WTF we would never answer that sort of question to a stranger.

The only question the current T asked me that I thought why are you asking that was if I was being paranoid when I told her I don't trust people. And I answered nah I'm usually right and gave some non traumatic reasons and examples of why people are not to be trusted.

But seriously in a job where the whole purpose of the job is to help people how do so many of them lack such a necessary skill.

I still don't know who we are

BeccaBee wrote:you know how we always stress that people will notice? but even when they notice- they don't "know-tice"!!!

This is such a delightful way to look it! I will remember the "know-tice" thing.

Bejer wrote:Was just writing an email to my T to be with this question; why aren't there 'spot the faker' workshops for T's who deal with schizophrenia, autism, etc?

Exactly!!!!! It felt like I was being "scanned". Even when I asked about when the group would be starting up, they basically refused to tell me at first because "first we will have to see what the results are"... Thankfully they told me they just didn't know about the group after I said that I wanted to know for planning-purposes. But still. Ugh. As if I would not be allowed to know anything about it because I'm still in the "orange zone" of POSSIBLE FAKER.

NyxX wrote:I get some of the questions for intake because sometimes they have to ask things to cover there own backs. But other stuff like what are your biggest triggers that's just WTF we would never answer that sort of question to a stranger.

The only question the current T asked me that I thought why are you asking that was if I was being paranoid when I told her I don't trust people. And I answered nah I'm usually right and gave some non traumatic reasons and examples of why people are not to be trusted.

But seriously in a job where the whole purpose of the job is to help people how do so many of them lack such a necessary skill.

I still don't know who we are

Thanks. Yeah, they do just want to cover their backs, I guess.
(But maybe that's possible WITH empathy?)

BeccaBee wrote:you know how we always stress that people will notice? but even when they notice- they don't "know-tice"!!!

Ok, "know-tice" is officially going right up there with "struggle bus" as favorite expressions to remember. You're so creative!!

We were productive yesterday--getting through the things that have to get done. I hope we can continue that way today.

Everything should be with empathy it is the first skill anyone working in a job where helping people is the goal. I don't care if its doctors or T's or even something like a priest.

If your job is to help others you start by showing empathy and consideration for the people you are supposed to help.

The basic start of helping someone is finding out how that person needs help. And this is my biggest issue with the NHS because the appoiments are always rushed they have already started thinking about the next person when you walk in or at least it feels that way. So how can they expect a patient to openly and freely. You might go with chest pain but not mention something else that might help them diagnose you because you don't want to bother them. (Or at least that how I tent to feel that I am bothering them.

Compassion and empathy have to be a basic skill without it how can they really help because without it the people they are supposed to help will be closed off with them. And that's without adding trust issues, past trauma or just plain bad experiences.

Compassion and empathy not only helps them to do there job it is essential to helping people.