How do some people stay so positive and optimistic?Even when adverse events happen?Why does my mind over analyze every situation,or even words people will say to me?I can drive myself nuts,really.No one else does it better them me.Anyone the same?The old saying,'You can be your own worst enemy'..runs true for me.I can work myself upp into a full heart pounding migraine induced panic attack,over analyzing life,and everything in it.I can 'read'into the simplest of words,ideas or observations.Is this just me?my own personal genetic makeup?hypersensitivity from past abuse?hypervigiliance?Part of PTSD?Part of a learned reaction from being victimized?Others have been abused,alot dont react this way.Is this the way my mind and body processes stress?WHY??Im trying to figure out the healing process,but with so many things out of my hands,everyday life stressors and triggers,I seem to fall back into these ways of thinking subconciously.I probably have to retrain the whole way I look at like and react.I wonder how that is done.Its funny when you are born,no one hands you a book on how to handle life...but I suppose,no one comes into this world with the idea of being an abuse victim.What do you want to be when you grow up missy???Oh, a berated,devalued,minimized abuse victim!I DONT think so.

Wisdom is the knowledge kept by those smart enough to learn from their mistakes.Wisdom has nothing to do with age.I know some pretty dumb older people and some pretty amazingly smart younger people.We arent talking "booksmart" either.Im talking smart as,someone who has the maturity to admit when they are wrong,someone who has the empathy to lend a helping hand,or listening ear,someone who is accepting and unbiased when giving gentle advice,someone who can be hushed when hearing of anothers trial,not being opinionated.

Soooo..there are these type ignorant people in the world,abusive and arrogantly entitled.Demanding thewhole world revolves around them and their intrusive,demoralizing unrealistic needs.Their whole existence is based mainly on ego.For if they had no ego,they wouldnt exist.Pity to the person who bruises their ego,for you will find yourself in the depths of hell,that THEY will creaate for you.How dare you challenge them,for THEY are ALWAYS right,and the rest of us are stupid dumbasses who know nothing of the laws of life.In all due reality THEY are so self absorbed in their own little world,their screwed up world,where they live in this little circle of nothingness,that they have no clues about the laws of life,space,boundries,kindness,acceptance,forgiveness and love.THEY have cut themselves off from reality,figuring the rest of the world thinks like them,but on the flipside,wondering why life isnt working for THEM.Be kind..NO BULLYING or AVUSIVE behaviour.Always realize there are others in the world,and its ok for them not to agree,to be different,to come from a different background or race.Be kind and mindful to ALL,including animals and pets.Having a good friend,and or having a lovely pet,is a PRIVILEDGE in life,not a given right....and always remember, do NOT become like "THEM"!No one likes an arrogantly entitled asshole.

I joined this site,as I was the victim,AND am a survivor of family abuse,plus abused by ALL of my boyfriends.Hence the reason I refuse to date at this moment.I thought readiing,sharing stories would be healiing.It is,but it is also very triggering,as I find through others similiar situations,to be remembering more of my abuse,and reliving it more in my mind.Maybe this is more healing then I realize,as my anger is surfacing.I just have to find a positive way to release it.I am very angry at my abuser(s).Angry at certain people for allowing it.People who should have been protecting me,a child,instead of worrying about their adult asses and the choices THEY made,which in turn caused my suffering.So many things to ponder.So much of myself I need to fix.I will be no patsy to a man.God is good, but can God help me fix me?help fix the world?and everyone in it?

I am curious to when others noticed they were the 'target child' in their family.??Growing up in an abusive family, with several siblings,both boys and girls,I noticed quite young that a few of us were the designated TARGET CHILD(REN).

The TC getting more of the brunt of abuse for some reason unknown....by NO FAULT of their own.I was TARGET CHILD.