OH MY GOD ALMIGHTY, AT 85 HE IS **STILLLL** TORMENTING ME!!!...
`\*.*/` I kid you NOT. He can't take care of himself, house, yard or anything for that matter in between...He has a walker, can barely dress, wheezes, is out of breath doing ANYTHING, voice has quivering, but I kid you NOT, that beestardo has NO PROBLEM still belittling me, devaluing me, YET mind you, (I have endured 40 something years of this crud), to this day...I never deserved his emotional, verbal, psychological, and physical abuse...But now, Really???In the condition he is in, and what I am doing for him, you think he would be kissing my ...literally. ..But NOOOOOOO...It isnt ENOUGH....He devalues me weekly, at every chance he gets..He is evil.I come d daily, put my life on hold, to help this thing and my 'mother' out...I am ill..Lupus, Fibro..PsA...The autoimmune diseases are not a fun ride, then I get shoved on their bus trip....which I didn't sign up for?? I cook some, do almost all their cleaning..My mother does very little, but gets very offended when I point this out to her..She is senior of course also, and obviously under the delusion this is1975...I do ALLLL their laundry, ALLL their yardwork, which practically kills me due to my illness..They have quite the property..Double lot and all..And of course it has to be done impeccable. They have trashed their house..It was beautiful. .Now they WON'T spend money, which they should have, to keep it up...A bulldozer couldn't fix it...They have their precious histrionic/narcissist daughter living with them who helps with nothing..And does NOT pay rent, or help financial wise...She does work, but is home plenty....But her time is HER TIME....It belongs to HER ONLY, as does my other siblings time, and nieces and nephews, so no one dares give up their time and help.....Let's dump it on the sick girl...She will eventually get disgusted by the filth, mess, or whatever...She will eventually get guilted or baited into doing their crud...After all. ..Why should they? Their time belongs to them...For they are all far more important then me..After all, as I am told by my mom, senior responsibility always falls onone child...That child is me...Their target child, the child who called dad out when I was very young for molestation. .The child who called the ARROGANTLY ENTITLED NARCISSIST out on his ABUSE...How dare I ...I was told I would pay for life, and no crappie, I have...So as I mentioned today, as my sister had been home with them for several days, including today, how come they didn't get on her to help..SEVERAL outdoor things needed done, and I am in the bad today with severe pain, as we are expecting heavy rain tonight/tomorrow. ..I got a blank half stare, half grin...No answer. ...So I go down the hall to tidy up the bathroom, and pee-pee toilet paper is being HOARDED AGAIN by my abusive decrepit father....You walk in the house and you get HUMAN urine stank...Which literally can slap you in the face at times...So of course I had to clean this up AGAIN...SOOOO rightly so, I COMPLAINED, and then my mother started on him, so he starts screaming he didn't do it, that I DID....OK....so as soon as mom goes to talk to a neighbor briefly outside (he usually doesn't say the horrid things infront of her), he starts how I am a loser, I am LAZY O_O, I should be GREATFUL HE IS STILL LIVING!!!!!!! OMG people. .Who says that?????? Why should I be greatful?? ANYONE??? He has abused me my entire life..Has been horrid to me..I can't stand him and am not really sure if I will even go to his funeral at this point..But I should be GREATFUL his decrepit abusive self is still around??? Sheesh, only out of a narcissistic mouth....And I was doing so well over the summer..Had accepted my abuse, was working on forgiveness, had realized my abuse had NOTHING to do with me, was working on Spirituality, then he starts triggering me..Verbally, emotionally, psychologically abusing me...Then it just starts all over for me..I get infuriated at him...at myself for going there, infuriated at my mother for guilting me, and allowing his behavior to continue, infuriated at my siblings for not helping..Then the PTSD and anxiety, panic attacks start.......Then people honestly wonder why I enjoy the company of animals and pets over humans.......REALLLLY? ???? Sheesh.