Well, I did it.

Don't know.

I ##### did it (I don't know if I have to censor myself, but I will).

I am shaking like crazy. I can barely type right now. I just was on facebook. I started a conversation with the prom-girl. It took me forever to press the key for the first letter. It was pretty chill afterwords. We were talking and I think it was at least a friendly conversation. We ran out of the topic we were talking on, but it was still good, not a "leave me alone" kind of running out of the topic.

So, I asked if she would like to get together some time.

it took me a long time to type it out, but it was only about one sentence. Then I was trying to see if I could get myself to send it. So, I was sitting there for like 15 minutes playing with the enter key, like pressing it a little, but not enough to contact, raising my finger and putting it down onto the key like I was going to press it. I got a pen, still half-trying to send it, and half resisting. I lifted the pen like I was going to do the same thing as what I was doing with my finger, and lowered it. But I misjudged it and it depressed the key. I was in half-disbelief, half panic.

My heart was beating so quickly, it was like a gun. I am still shaking like I have Parkinson's. It is a good thing that there is a backspace key. When I started to settle down, I took my pulse. About 130bpm, so pretty anxious considering my resting is down to about 80bpm most of the time now.

She hasn't responded, and it says she hasn't seen the message (but she is on her phone, so it could have popped up in the notifications and she just read it from there and doesn't want to open it I assume that Iphones can do that like android). She was about to eat, and it was a long time between when I got the last message and sent this one (and I didn't even worry too much about with whom, I am on a role today). I don't know. I am not too worried. It is what it is. I did my part for now. It feels good. I will accept whatever comes. I feel like I made the most progress I have ever made. Even if she says no, I am fine. I conquered the situation. I did it. I did it. No foolin' around this time, I asked the question.

Although... there is a small catch to my question... the way I asked it, although mostly recognized as asking someone on a date, it is POSSIBLE to say "oh, no I didn't mean it like that" if I absolutely have to. Yeah, I know, that is an avoidant trait, but with the progress this is, I don't ####ing care. Everyone gets nervous, anyway.

Life, come at me. 10 points for Taylor. -5 if she says no, but that is still a net +5.