Well, today was the first day of my college semester. I can say that it definitely went better than expected, but I was only really hoping to survive. It was,overall, good, though.

Arrival: This was the first time I have driven anywhere other than to a family member's house or without a family member in the car. I was nervous, but it worked out okay. I arrived a bit later than I would have liked (and I was speeding by 5mph, something I have never done). I got there around 7:27, and my first class started at 7:35, so I was in a bit of a hurry to get to the room, but I got there with some time to spare.

1st class: Calculus
Calc was a pretty good class. I was kinda nervous about this because a lot of the students were 2nd year since calculus is generally a 3rd semester class(or maybe 2nd, I am not sure), but it was okay.The professor seemed nice, and I did several things which I am proud of.
1. I shook hands with, and announced my name clearly to one students at the first opportunity to meet people, and even maintained eye contact and smiled, and said "nice to meet you" clearly.
2. I also shook hands with another student, and announced my name.
3. I actually asked the professor a clarification on a "attention" type of test (fun sort of thing for us to meet each other, not for a grade). He smiled at it, and seemed to think it was a fair thing to say. I didn't see any sort of diminishing look which I have previously gotten from asking questions in the past.

Between classes (all of them):
I was also worried about this because I always had trouble walking down the halls in high school. Not so, here, though. The walkways are outside, so I think that helps. I did feel like people were talking about me as I walked by, but I took the advice I have gotten here and tried to think positive. Here are the main thoughts and how I dealt with them(I didn't actually here them say these things, but it was what my mind was telling me they were probably saying, and I resisted).
1."He is walking strange": I am walking in normal posture, that is impossible. I am not walking strange. I even practiced, and looked in the mirror, and I don't walk strange.
2."Oh my god, he is so ugly": I know now that I am not ugly, and I feel like if I aknowlege that thought, I am disrespecting certain people/situations, and I don't want to encourage that sort of stuff. Besides, I don't think people actually say that kind of thing, and if they do, I don't want any part of them.
3."He looks so young": I actually looked about the same age as most of them there. I was actually a bit concerned about this at first, but I can pass for a slightly young-looking 18 year old, and I am 17, so there is not much of a difference anyway.
4."Why is he so tall and skinny, it looks so awkward": Yeah, I am skinny, but I am not too tall so to where it looks extremely awkward. Plus, who calls someone out on that? Nobody that I want to hang out with.

2nd class: English-aka the class with a ton of group work
Not the best class so far, but that may change. The teacher was okay(crazy,and "look at me, I'm crazy", but she was nice, so that is what counts), but I sat on the side of the room with all returning students (this was another class that generally requires a class before it, so I think about 80% were returning students). I just sat near the middle here, and no one was around me. That is fine, though. I expect that she will assign us groups based on the way she was talking, and I can deal with that. Even though I am isolated here, I am fine with this.

3rd class: Chemistry
Teacher was pretty cool. She explained pressure's effect on temperature in a very intuitive way, and it was a great lecture which I understood better than probably any other lecture. I have heard that she was an awesome teacher, but I didn't expect this. It was a really good lecture, and I am hoping that all of the will be this intuitive. I feel like I have a real grasp on the concept instead of just "memorize these formulas and plug in the variables". This is important to me because I am horrible at chemistry, and having a teacher that makes sense with it is... amazing to me.

4th class: Intro to Computer Science
This class was awesome and relaxing. I really liked the teacher. She was very laid-back and nice. I love computer science, and she seems very encouraging and helpful. Also, at the end, one of the guys from calculus that I shook hands with recognized me, and even remembered my name and said "nice to see a familiar face". The fact that he remembered me(that I seem important enough for people to remember) made my day. I feel like I have a potential friend, too, although I don't really know, but it is nice to know that it is not all walls are closed around me.

Tomorrow I will have sociology, but I am not afraid of it anymore. I am just a bit worried about chem labs, but those don't start until next week. I have just always done horrible at labs, and the whole groups/pairing thing is freaking me out because I am extremely nervous/erratic during labs, and I don't want to freak anyone out. I ordered theanine and lemon-balm for it, though. Lemon-balm makes me feel a little stupid, but that is okay because the actual labs aren't really the difficult part for me, but the worrying about making a mistake ironically causes me to make mistakes in procedure and I think it always stresses my group members, which I don't want.

So, a huge thanks to everyone who gave me advice or encouragement. I love you guys. I couldn't have done it without you, or maybe I could have, but I think I would have fared much worse. Your tips and words have really helped, and I mean that. I thought of you guys the whole day, and I feel like you have all helped me. Thanks to all of you

Congratulations! I think starting school is difficult for any new student with nerves about meeting new people, taking new classes, etc. You tackled a lot in one day, driving alone, making conversation, confronting negative thoughts. It is great that you were able to question all of your thoughts while walking and start to break the thought process that other people are judging you. I have the same types of thoughts and it takes effort to challenge yourself and resist the thoughts. I always remind myself that people are probably more focused on themselves than the way my shirt/hair looks.

That guy in your calculus/computer science class might be someone good to try and develop a friendship with, maybe start as a "study buddy" when a test is near?