Are there girls on the other side?

Is there love on the other side? I certainly hope so.

I'll go there eventually anyway.

Well whatever... short entry but yeah I thought it was pretty relevant as well and didn't like the idea of posting this as a seperate post/response to my own blog entry 23... like an addition...

Through all of this stuff though (everything I posted and more)...

I am forgetting about the goal in life.

And sometimes I feel like I can die just out of pure boredom. Like every impulse... every sensation becomes... like... I just don't care... untill I stop caring at all... and then I'm dead...

A few days ago while I was out... like... pubs etc... some girl half-approached me... and she wanted to dance... and she apparently said that she thought I was pretty.

There's some other girl here also that also likes me. Somewhat. She seems to. A lot of girls sometimes seem to like me...

But I just... it's just not... no... it doesn't work...

But they're still the reason why I'm seriously just alive... But when it comes down to it I don't care.

I'm tired.

Ok it's a little bit better again.

Perhaps for the most part actually. Like a lot of it.

I can get really really mad at my parents right now and everyone involved. I've got a sister and yeah... well... anyway... She's still uhm... she still doesn't have that much to do with it. That's all I know.

So that's allright. And uhm I know she cares about stuff. But uhm yeah I was kind of distant towards her. And yeah I now know how to fix that. I have fixed it I think.

And perhaps with that I'm fully morally free right now from my parents.

Because I felt bad because of some stuff as well. But yeah.

Whatever I feel a little bit better that's the only thing that counts.

Excuse me. I'll see how far that mindset >>>> will <<<< get me.

I can't see the edit button though in blog entry 20. I thought it was supposed to be next to the quote button, and it's not there.

Well whatever.

Ok so...

I don't know what I'm doing here on this planet. On earth. I don't know who I am. I don't know how I will turn out to be. I just don't know. I'm developing a real hatred towards people. It's causing me a lot of stress. And there's just a question about... if this is it. Now.

Seriously...

I'm systematically right now retreating from society. Society also puts me here. But, I guess it's a combination.

There are thoughts though inside my head. And that's...

Oh well I don't blame my parents anymore. But I don't love them anymore either. They're neutral. They have wasted all of the initial positive credits they had.

Perhaps that's already enough. I'll see how far that mindset gets me.