Ok so today is a lot better all of a sudden to a point where I'm actually functioning.

Don't know how or what. But basically I got angry... and then I found power in my own anger. And realised I'm powerfull and in controll. Yeah that might sound weird but it was like that.

It's just that I need to direct it.

So today... I have been doing all kinds of useless stuff. Actually. Pretty cool. Listened to music. Showed my own social position in this building as somebody not to be messed around with (I guess they saw what kind of break through I had had... just through the look of my eyes).

Then I actually... kind of like...

Gosh it was a very weird day actually...

I don't even know exactly the sequence anymore in what order everything happened. All I know is that I just played some minesweeper as well on expert level and finally being able to pull it off. And I've just watched a video that has just blown my mind... giving a whole new DIMENSION... of stuff to think about...

And so I am now looking up the video... how to find it... because I want to show you... and now that I've found the video... I see it's from 2007... it's already 5 years old... wich makes it a little bit too much to... understand...

Anyway, search: "the meaning to life blow your mind away" on youtube and it's the first video that pops up (black screen with text, and a small blue hue in the left bottom corner fading into the black screen).

Especially the... facts about... technology students... that if I were to start a technological study... all the stuff I would've learned in year 1 would already be outdated in year 3. Or much more quickly perhaps.

Wich is just sick.

Somehow I don't believe it all. I don't believe computers will ever outperform humans in intelligence as we PROGRAMM THEM. So it's impossible as far as I can think of with my own human brains. You can mimic the smartest person by building a computer that has the same type of brains as the smartest person in the world but then that's it. That's where the limit is. I think. Or I hope. Or I fear... I don't know...

Then I think technology can't develop as quickly as humans can educate themselves for the technology. We'll never outrun ourselves.

The problem might actually become that a lot of branches could be really usefull... combined together... but will never be combined together... because we all go our seperate ways... because everything specializes way too quickly way too much. I think. Or not.

It's sick anyway. It feels like we're building on being one. I believe in that. And I feel the internet and electricity is going to be part of our central nervous system.

But I hope it won't ever implode. Or collapse... like a bubble. But that would make the most sense though. It's like... this can't go on without having consequences. Do we want all of this technology? What are the impacts of it etc etc? It already sometimes feels like it's getting too much.

And it's probably already... too... much... in a sense that nobody probably even cares what I'm writing at the moment because I can guarantee you that there are thousands of other places you can go to right now on the internet where much someone is discussing stuff that's much more interesting than what I'm saying right now... much more fun... in a much more simple way... much easier to understand...

As far as I know only the mod/admin who has to approve of this actually still reads all of this. Hehe. Some of it anyway. Or... perhaps he/she just runs a scan for swearing words or stuff like that and doesn't really read it.

Yeah... it's weird. Perhaps this is not going on... But actually it is! This is not... some hallucination. It feels like I'm already merging with everything... becoming part of a large thing/being... perhaps this is also how my body formed. It is actually. My body first started growing and growing and growing and then it assigned tasks to all the different cells and then they started... performing those tasks...

Cells die in my body but also get "born" again... naturally selected by other cells in my body or by themselves and everything... this is sick. This is really really really really sick.

Somewhere my body seems to have stopped developing but it hasn't.

What is my body anyway? It's just a...

It's just something that listens to my commands... better than the things around me do. It's more responsive. I can look at a glass and think "move up" but it won't. If I do that with my hand it will... I don't have to use my left hand to raise my right hand. It seems to be fully in my own controll. And my surroundings don't seem to be. Wich is what makes me believe that there's a border there. But there isn't. It's all just less responsive. And perhaps the internet and stuff will make it more responsive in the future. The butterfly effect.

Ah I'll stop here.

But all kinds of crazy thoughts CAN go from here. But I'll stop now because there's a very real chance I might get lost.

Edit:
I need to do something usefull with this though.