Blog;
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Lot of changes going on of importance…
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Basically;
As I work with God on FIRST LOVE; She is simply disappearing. Her value has diminished to the point that the feeling of her is flat.. Shes almost gone in a sense… When I say that; I mean it! Her affect is flattened. She is slowly disappearing. As I move into Gods sovereign state. More n more the part of my heart owned by this First Love when young; The child in me is putting his elegance into God instead. This means a shift of power… the innocent child in me no longer sees any value in that monster… The child in me has come home to God by choice; it could be no other way. My goal was to present the evidence that this person was an evil person and not what they seemed; Thus; I was hoping with Gods help that the child in me would began to see the truth and evidence presented and decide to give up their interest in this person and move toward God… And thats exactly what they did. However; God plays a major role in this.
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It means FIRST LOVE is thrown out! And my heart and personality is owned by God again; owned by me; not by that person.
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When working with God; Gods only real motivation is to get me out of there as fast as possible. God is already aware this is a jackal and is evil. Having continued resentments for this person is a waist of time; its better for God to clear me out of their completely; leaving no trace; and to have that (hooked-to-the-devil) part of me hooked on her back in Gods arms of safety. This is satisfaction of safety… I am safe again. And that is decent feeling of living under the sovereignty of God. Is it completely over yet; no! But at this point this war is over… Its about God coming in and claiming what is Gods… And God taking it back. Meaning. God has stood up for me; Gone into this Jackal and taken back my heart; my identity and my soul that was taken… and now my heart and soul belong to God and are with God and within me again.
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So; How do I feel? Well; Im now dealing with another problem. My life has been so beat up and torn apart by these Jackals out here in life. Take them away; suddenly; Im a guy who never had a girlfriend. Never had a wife. Never had anything or anyone ever. Nothing; zero… And has been treated as invisible; completely.
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So; Ill work with God on that… The world has been hostile toward me. Im hated by women; not all of them. A few like me; a very few; but they actually see value; but 99% would never marry me. The other 1%; I don’t know them.
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Heres the deal; God can do everything and anything. Believe me… My heart and mind are almost restored back to when I met that First Love person. That person is now a complete stranger and Im the one who looks at them as they are the outsider. Ive got God or Im IN with God… Their out! And this is real; And this is just one example of God removing the evil from my life; When God removes the evil; HE removes it! Its like coming home and looking on the carpet and seeing that stain (that stain; That big coffee stain) The one your brother created when he tripped with the coffee pot; the one filled with that black camp-fire tar like coffee he was trying at your house. You love your brother; but that stain is permanent; You tried everything. Its OKE; its not worth the fight; Its a huge stain; no problem; but one would have to replace the carpet or the big floor rug; No big deal; it can be replaced; its not that big. Its all good; its been a few years now! . GO to sleep; wake up a few hours later; stumble out into the living room; sit down at the computer; watch crime channel; create music; Not paying attention; my eyes wonder; Im looking around; and I notice something is wrong. I double back; I look down at the ground to the far right… No big deal; I continue to look at the screen… I stop; look back at the floor; at the carpet; No big deal; Bu...

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