I finally thought it was time to clear out the e-mails and ghosts of the past. I had been hoarding messages and letters from those I used to love... But I can't live there anymore, even though it is a melancholy thing to realize things will never be the same as years ago. There is only the future now, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I see this engagement ring, and picture loving this man for the rest of my life and it makes me smile. Reflecting on the past is bittersweet, because there were so many good things, and I actually have been dwelling on those rather than the bad. I still can hold grudges, but the tears aren't from anger and bitterness anymore. They're from the sad realization that the people we were in the past no longer exist. The change happened gradually, and sometimes it's hard to accept that everything is no longer the way it was.

I would never trade my experiences in love, pain, and stupidity. They have shaped me the way I am, and given me so much in life that I could never have gained without those events. I am grateful for everything... the tears, the anger, the rejection, and of course the joy. There definitely was joy, even if it doesn't always seem like there was. I can only hope that my future can be so filled with the same kind of variety of things that have given me the wisdom and maturity that I have today.

I recently cleaned out all the old emails from past lovers, too. It was a nice release to see it all gone.

Facebook recently changed their message settings and all the old deleted messages came back... holy cow! That was a lot to deal with. Kinda triggering in some ways, too, so it was better to just get rid of everything!

[quote="ladyswan"]I recently cleaned out all the old emails from past lovers, too. It was a nice release to see it all gone.

Facebook recently changed their message settings and all the old deleted messages came back... holy cow! That was a lot to deal with. Kinda triggering in some ways, too, so it was better to just get rid of everything![/quote]

Nothing new popped up in my facebook... but I think I'd deleted all past messages there already. Haha. I want to put all the past behind me... completely. haha.