I feel like it has all come crashing down around me again. Right now i don't want to be here i don't want to keep fighting and now i think i've upset one of the people who actually gives a damn about me and what is going on in my life. I think she must hate me i know i do. Apart from her i have no one that i can talk to about anything she is the only one who listens to me and doesnt tell me that i am wrong she understands and gets it and is only ever supportive.

I have no right to feel the way i do i have had a good life and other people have had far far worse things happen to them. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it i guess. I feel so alone and isolated and desperate. I want it all to go away and for my life to be 'normal'. The only thing keeping me here is that my aunt commited suicide at new years many years ago and i need to wait until new years is over and then i can think about it again