Meh ......

This week doesn't seem to be getting any better i feel pretty grim still SH thoughts feel a little uncontrollable and the 'need' to do it is increasing. I don't want it back in my life but its starting to creep back in ..... I really want to attack my arm right now but i can't simply because i am going out to a special event where i am wearing a dress that would mean i couldnt hide them.

I'm so scared at the moment, my unwell indicators are starting to surface .... my sleep is becoming more and more distrurbed, my appetite is horrendous all of a sudden, aggitated, withdrawn and nightmares are on the increase ..... i can see them but i don't know what i'm meant to do now they are here. I don't want things to go back to how they were i'm scared that things will escalate again. I also need to get better at med taking am sure that that would help but what do i do now that these things are starting?? Thinking of ringing my CPN tomorrow but i don't really know what to say to her its not like she can change any of it ....

On teh possitive side i have completely finished cleaning and moving out of my flat yay!