Feeling... nothing at all, right now. Kind of numb. Nothingness.

Thoughts pop into my head of Ubermensch, a mental network, genetic engineering, life, all kinds of everything.

To surpass mankind. That is the apparent goal. It seems we shall not return to the Moon or go to Mars in our current state of mankind, where we've been lied to and broken by man and government alike. Government no longer represents the people, but the people don't care. Government is better than anarchy, but by how much? There needs to be someone to take control, someone to change things, be they the Ubermensch, the New Soviet Man, the Personification of the American Dream, what have you. And yet, there is no oe to lead a change, a revolution, a metamorphosis of the world into a better place. Humans that aren't helpless are apathetic. The economy is in shambles, politicians ramble on spewing hot air, and nothing is being changed except for the worse.

As for me, I need meds, lest I lose my mind. Or so they tell me. Are they afraid of what I'll accomplish, what I'll see, what I'll do? Or would I be unable to do anything either way? Sure, I'm complacent, "normal" enough to function in society, but at what cost and why? Sure, voices and conspiracies are terrifying, and it's better without them entering my mind, but how can I tell I haven't become a mindless sheep like I'd feared? How can I tell if I'm still Me? I don't feel the same. Others tell me that I'm the same as I used to be, that I'm more like myself, but how would they know? Am I the only one that doesn't know something, or are they the ones in the dark?

What does it all mean?

I'm empty. Will I come back around to normal, or do I have to do it myself? Do I rebuild myself now? How? In what image? Do I construct the Ubermensch?