Just rambling on, today, not much sense in the world. Meds kinda suck but the conspiracies seem to be gone so why should I care although I could be drugged by them but I don't feel drugged just empty, but then nervous or frantic, even if it's 3 AM. Sleep deprivation isn't helping matters. Need a bandage, blood's running on the side of my head.

Why do people do the things they do? Why do people try to fit in, try to be like everyone else? Why don't people express creativity and themselves? Why is it only socially acceptable for the popular people to do that all the time? Why is it that if you don't have good social skills you can't break new ground or start trends or anything? Why does anyone follow trends? Why does it matter?

If the human mind is capable of so much, why do we keep using it for things like trends and meaningless gossip and what happened on Jersey Shore? Who cares about that?

I need to write something. Something more. Something big. Maybe a novel. I'll write a story, some story, make something of it, accomplish something. Keep myself occupied with something entertaining. Keep the voices out of my life. Meds and writing. Meds suck, though, don't they, but I need them, so I have to take them.

I want to be free. Free of meds, free of the conspiracies, free of the government projects with genetics that my mind makes up and tells me are real even though they probably aren't. Why can't I just keep the good voices and the flying girl? Why is there a conspiracy, too, and men in black, and why don't the meds let me keep the good? Why does all this happen? Why's it happen to me, if I never got to do so many things, never even knew what I was doing before all this happened? Why can't I figure this out? Why can't I do what I want? Why do people do the weird things they do, but when I do some of them I end up looking like a fool?

Why is everything so damn confusing? Why can't I figure any of this out?

I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now, Lost. I know it sucks that the meds take away the good stuff with the bad, but maybe you can find other good things to replace it. I'm glad you're writing about it, anyway. Keep it up, and I hope you feel better.

Thanks, MissAnthropy Trying to find some good stuff, but it's getting hard and meds leave me unmotivated. I'll try to keep it up, though, thanks for the encouragement.