I honestly have no idea who I am right now. I'm very confused. I spent the night dreaming about Joe, my ex, who I was with for 11 months and who hates my guts, and now all I can think about is making things right with him.

I loved his smile. I miss the way he used to smile at me. It kind of said "you're adorable, I love you".

It feels really important to me right now that I get him to talk to me again. I don't even know whether it would be a good or bad thing for us if I did.

I decided in probablly bad judgement to send a facebook message to one of his friends. Shouldn't end too badly because the guy in question isn't an asshole and he did say I could talk to him if I wanted... I feel like I should put the system's needs before mine and not do this but it is extremely difficult. I'm currently talking to him. I'm pretending to be Kaz.

I decided to pick out a name for myself... Lily. I feel a little better and less confused with a name.

Matt is on his way over. I don't really feel anything for him. I don't hate him like Georgia does, I just don't feel anything. This might be awkward. I hope I can switch back.

Lily.