Friend A is upset because friend B is seeing other people (not in a relationship) I found out A was upset before B spilled the story to me without my asking.

This is why I dont date in my friend circle (very small circle)

I really dont feel like writing today. I went to bed early, woke up late, then took a nap. Im only up because I have a work training session in a few min.

I cant seem to get my head right. Im floaty and disconnected. Itll go away soon, Im sure. If it doesnt I can always have a drink to get my mind back in it. (After work of course)

I just want to sleep. I dont want to be outside right now.

I called the doc this morning and he put in an order for my meds. It would have been my first time getting these. I got some samples to try for the last couple weeks, and everything was going well.

The pharmacy called and said my insurance wouldnt pay for them until they talked to my doc and he filled out some forms. It could take 7-10 days. Now Im stuck with no antipsychotics for at least a week.

If past experience holds true, it will take me around two months to be in a full blown psych emergency requiring hospitalization, so I should be safe.

I still cant help but be nervous. The last two episodes peaked with suicide attempts and I would hate to succeed on my third try. I just have to stay calm and not take on too much for a little while. Im scared, but I have to be strong. Theres no other choice.

Ive been on a strict only eat when youre hungry diet. I tend to eat my feelings and when Im bored. So for the past couple weeks, it has been only when Im hungry, only only enough that Im not hungry anymore. Plus no soda or anything with high fructose corn syrup. Ive lost a little more than ten pounds. Ill reward myself with a cheeseburger later. Only have to eat healthy most of the time.

I put it off for too long. I should have called the doc before the weekend, but I didnt. Now Im all out of drugs. The kind that keep me sane, most of the time.

Now Ill have to call tomorrow and hopefully get a script by that night. Hes very busy though, and I dont know if he will help. I dont trust most of these types.

I have no other choice. I cant believe what an idiot I am. What was I thinking about that was more important than this? I know for damn sure I wasnt doing anything.

I wonder if the mods get depressed reading all these blogs. Not that this was particularly bad, but when most of your input is bad, I imagine the output does worse. Cheers to you for taking a bullet for the rest of us.

Wish me luck with the meds!