My appointment is today. Ill finally have someone to talk to. Not that I dont love all of you, its just that face to face is more meaningful to me. Maybe thats why I tell everyone Im fine when I really want to cut my hands off.

I wonder if someone could survive that without medical attention. I wont do it. It would put my family through too much. And friends.

I woke up this morning at about 5. Then I heard what sounded like a girl pulling a lolipop out of her mouth, coming from the foot of my bed. I could actually feel her presence. I got an image of what she looked like through the dark.

I turned the light on, and nothing was there, but I could still feel her. It freaked me out. If I really wanted to die, I wouldnt have moved. So I guess that says something powerful about me. But I cant help but wonder what I would have done if someone was actually there.