I guess a short introduction is in order. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about two years ago. That changed to schizo-affective, and under the care of an incompitent doctor was switched to deppression with psychotic features. All of it is pointless. I dont care what they label me as, just so long as the meds work. I also happened to have met a great woman, who feels the same way. Most of our time together is very happy, but on occation she gets down. So I help her out. Sometimes I get suicidal, and she reminds me Im not a burden on everyone, and of everyone whos lives I would put in a bad way. See, thats a big deal for me. Ive never been able to talk to anyone honestly like that. So when someone comes along that brings this up, I cant help but wonder, "how long will it last?" Even though I think of that song by The Turtles when I think about her. Pretty lame, I know. Im just a big ole softy i guess. I can almost guarentee she will bolt when I have an episode around her. The mind can do some amazing things. It really can. Maybe I should just call it off now and save her the suffering. The last time I was seeing anyone was two years ago, and I put her through hell. She actually tried to kill herself. Im no saint either, Ive had a couple attempts, but its really crumby feeling responsible for something like that. I would be devastated if it happened again. If she succeeded I dont know what Id do. But shes nothing like my ex. Honest moment with myself, Im just using that as an excuse to keep her at arms length. Not just her, but most everyone. I keep my bad days to myself, most of the time, and share my good days with everyone I can rope into a conversation. Im sure Im notorious with the city bus drivers by now. Ive gotten off topic. Bottom line, Im very happy. And that makes me worry