I guess I should feel privileged that one of my abusers was in my life..(Family member)I guess I should be blessed,and bow down before his royal arrogance..(is that how bow is spelled,or is that bow as in a ribbon??)I guess I should be estatic he was in my life and abusive...I was should be greatful also that he still walks the face of this lovely beautiful earth...Afterall,I am nothing according to him..Just some sloth of a useless person who roams the earth and sea aimlessley..I am full of disgust to him...how could he have bred me..I did NOT accept his abuse,his perverse accolades divulged on himself.I did NOT accept his lies,his ways,his demoralizing system that others in my household so willingly accpeted.To me he is a beast,to me he is the beast..I was told growing up I should feel lucky,I could have had worse.....REALLY?????Kidding me right?????As people entitled his arrogant being,as they feared,but loyally moved to his every word,robotic,stockholmed,faceless,mindless people...There was no other choice I was told.It was the way he is I was told.bend over backwards for the man I was told.Afterall,he was houseing us,feeding us,clothing us,slapping us,verbally/emotionally/sexually removing every ounce of soul we had.But we should be lucky because he is our father....Oh really?????Afterall,we didnt want to bruise his ego,or that would be surefire hell,that might last for a day,week,weeks,month,,months,,year,,years.....get the drift..Do as he says,do as he pleases..The cycle was sick and never ending..Why do women stay???They KNOW,regardless of what they say,abuse is going on...because it is going on with them too (Most of the time,I believe)They know what kind of abuse...They know basically how much,how often.They did when I was growing up anyways,because most women didnt work.I hate when people play stupid.I hate when people pathologically lie..I hate when people dont take responsibility for their actions,blaming the world,and every living creature in it for OUR,yes OUR wrongdoings..They do no wrong,,,,You know that dont you????...And as the cycle of life passes,and abusers AGE,,,weary,,old,,nasty,,pathetic selves..My life will begin one day,as theirs ends..and then maybe they will meet the real BEAST...Makes one wonder...My encounter today was triggering,,unfair..disgusting..But I no longer fear..I no longer can be ripped apart..I was verbally attacked,,devalued of course for calling my abuser out on something he did wrong,as he tried to balme another person..So I got some wrath on me,,but sent that wrath right back to him..Amen on that!!!!! =^..^=