I should just hold in my feelings. They don't matter. I don't matter. Noone cares. You'd never know how depressed I am by looking at me. I'm always smiling. You'd never know. I think I'll cut myself tonight just once. I need to. I'm a piece of $#%^. And I keep telling this to myself. I wish I could tell myself I'm beautiful and smart but whenever I do it just feels weird

Hang in there hun. You're not a piece of $#%^. You're a wonderful person who happens to have mental illness and is having a hard time. *hugz*