Hey,

So today I'm feeling actually ok. No extreme emotions...except when im entering this contest and I get an entry !!!!

Besides that..my IBS is killing me so I cant wait to get home but....ya. Oh ya thought I'd take note that on Saturday I thought of cutting myself, couldnt find my razor blade (i always hide it after I cut myself), so I didn't actually do it. I've only cut once this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I bet only once last year!!!!!!!!! 2008-2009 I was almost everyday for a few months, I'm really proud of myself.

I was thinking yesterday that even though my moods are like extremely unstable, I cant believe I'm not way worse off than I am...I've been through some f***ed up stuff.(lol or maybe my moods are really bad but I know how to handle it) I remember my first psychiatrist told me that I'm called a " ??" child...it's resilient or...some word along those lines, I cant remember. The only thing I'm scared of is something really bad happening and then I'll totally lose it. but whatever, I need to stop being anxious about the future.

That's it for today...