I have to say that somehow now I really think I'm getting somewhere (see my last blog entry... the very very last part).

My dad always tried to embarass me in front of the family of his girlfriend. Like for the smallest stupidest stuff imagineable. Pronouncing something wrong or something like that.

Actually they might not have even understood that either. Why my dad was bashing... me like that... like why he targeted me like that over... this small stuff. The problem is now something happened wich I think of as extremely bad and not-done and wrong.

And I am so ashamed for it but I couldn't do much about it in the end...

Perhaps I don't blame myself but if I don't others will anyway so I might as well just do it myself.

Wich is VERY UNHEALTHY...

It's as if I haven't got a choice. Along with the disturbing stuff that happened with my dad he's just a total moron.

Edit:
Well it's hard for me to put it into perspective.