Ok so hello everyone again,

I'm doing good at the moment. Better than before (a few weeks ago for example).

However sometimes I can still get angry at certain stuff. Social stuff in particular. It can really really piss me off. Because I don't like to show where my borders are. And show that to people. Because I think people should know it themselves and I just severely hate people who cross them... even if it's unintentionally... otherwise it wouldn't be a border right?

And by that I mean social borders.

But yeah I've started to... uhm... try... and... defend them nevertheless by warning... or something. It's like I don't like to warn people but I have to because people are just stupid. They apparently don't know when they go too far and I have to let them know it.

So then often these thoughts come up that I feel like I let my parents get away with what they did. And then I think to myself... I kind of regret that. But I don't know how I could make them pay. If I retaliate with violence I punish myself just as much as them. Because in the end... I don't know.

They raised me. I mean...
The way... they did... is perhaps questionable... or... like... they way they did... I might not really like it... but they raised me nevertheless. Yeah...

I don't really know how to think of it or what to think of it but I feel better right now than I did before...

Edit: but yeah the point I guess is that it makes me really angry...
And I'm allowed to think that.

Edit 2: And because I'm allowed to think that I feel better again.
So yeah I first get angry because of the things I remember... about what they did etc... but then I'm like yeah it makes sense for me to be angry about that and that already calms me enough.

I don't know.

I don't even know why I'm typing this. I don't even know if this message will get approved. It's like censorship. Gosh.

But you know what...

I'm going to change this blog from talking to you people who read this to talking to the admins. Lol.

Hello there administrators or moderators... whoever you are...

Edit 3:

But yeah just a weird entry again.

Edit 4:

Oh yeah and by the way, the approval of these entries... are fine... uhm in the way that I did get a notification of it. Directly after I clicked the submit button I got an explaination saying that a mod or admin needs to approve this message before it gets submitted. I apparently clicked that message away automatically thinking it was like a... "you're post has been submitted succesfully, click here to get back to the forums" blablabla message. And then at my post in a red color it says I merely need to click a link... to approve my message... as if I can do that myself. Wich is false. Not true.

Edit 5:

So yeah if I'm talking to a single mod/admin anyway here and don't have any certainty as to whether this entry will actually be approved... I would appreciate it if you could do something about that FALSE message saying I can click on a link to approve my message and the internetpage just does a quick refresh and nothing happens basically.

Actually I wouldn't appreciate it. I just dislike it at the moment. I would probably stop feeling agitated about it. Oh well and if this post does get submitted... I guess that's all for today...

Cya!