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How to rebuild your bubble

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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby TwilightVanguard » Sun Apr 24, 2016 3:09 pm

@AvoidantPenny

I'm sorry for what happened with your friend and the photo. You should relax and try to take a breather, take a bit of time and take care of yourself a bit, if you can. I know how it feels when someone tells you that you look out of place, our minds then go insane and jump hoops to go from that to thinking that we're a hideous being that doesn't qualify as a sentient being.
Try to relax and maybe ask someone else's opinion? Maybe someone a bit more less reckless in their interactions (they exist, some people get really excited around other people). You could take the time to really think about what was said and try to calm your mind down a bit.

It sounds like a huge task, I know, but it's important to take a step back and reflect. If it lessens the pain a bit, then it's worth it.
Overcome with despair and hopelessness...
Cineri gloria sera est
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby AvoidantPenny » Sun Apr 24, 2016 3:48 pm

Thank you TwilightVanguard. It happened yesterday evening and when my boyfriend came home he saw how upset I was so I showed him the conversation, but I'd deleted all trace of the photo by then.

He said my friend isn't very tactful. That's correct and I usually appreciate the fact that my friend says what he thinks and that I don't have to try to guess what he really means. But this really hurt and triggered my avoidance big time. Maybe it looks like an overreaction but it was like a dagger going straight to my core. My core of shame and disgust and hatred for myself.

Thank you for listening, there aren't many places where one can talk about this kind of thing and be understood.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:06 pm

jkxxster wrote:Since it's over the best thing to do would be to try to make peace with it and not let it influence you with any upcoming interviews. Maybe where you end up will be much better than the place you left.

Thank you :)
I think it's a good advice.

If you are feeling overwhelmed it might help to break things down into small tasks so you can do one and then the next and so on - though that doesn't work for everyone.

Yes, I think it's good to plan and do little steps. And achieve them.


AvoidantPenny wrote:My bubble burst. I sent a photo to my friend and he said to delete it because it made me look really weird

Well, it sucks.
However, thinking of it,
it's your friend. If he told you, i guess it's because he knows you and you don't look like the photo.
So he was honest.
So the bad news is that you have a weird photo,
The good news is that you have an honest friend :)
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby AvoidantPenny » Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:46 pm

However, thinking of it,
it's your friend. If he told you, i guess it's because he knows you and you don't look like the photo.
So he was honest.
So the bad news is that you have a weird photo,
The good news is that you have an honest friend :)

Thank you Philonoe. We mostly talk online but we have met a couple of times so he does know what I look like, so you have a good point there. He is honest but forgets to be kind at the same time. He didn't need to compare me to a horror film character. It was a big trigger but I do feel slightly better now.

I explained a bit more in my previous post but my posts are being moderated so it hasn't been posted yet.

I really like your bubble concept, by the way. I often think that other people have a big soft bubble protecting them, so that when they argue or disagree they just bounce into each other without getting hurt. But mine is missing or incomplete so people run over me and injure me. I need a better bubble.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Tue Apr 26, 2016 9:53 am

AvoidantPenny wrote:He didn't need to compare me to a horror film character.

Right.

I really like your bubble concept, by the way. I often think that other people have a big soft bubble protecting them, so that when they argue or disagree they just bounce into each other without getting hurt. But mine is missing or incomplete so people run over me and injure me. I need a better bubble.

That's exactly how i feel, myself.
My bubble is sometimes fragile, too.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:40 pm

I never imagined that i would appreciate so much the fitness center.

I try to go every day. Then i have a little program, very very soft. People are very quiet. They recognise me, don't ask anything, help when needed.

There is a screen with some clips. Often the same music, i get used to it.

And just moving without thinking too much is good.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby jamberrypie » Tue Jun 28, 2016 5:08 am

Very good visual imagery here. It's similar to how I describe how I am feeling on good days. I see myself as a person figure drawn in a thick, solid black line. Those are my best days when I am feeling strong and not vulnerable - when people can't bother me as much.

On bad days, I see myself as a person figure drawn in light gray dotted lines. On these days, I feel fractured inside, and I've learnt it is best to stay away from contentious people as much as possible. I just don't have the emotional and mental strength to deal with conflict.

AvoidantPenny wrote:
I really like your bubble concept, by the way. I often think that other people have a big soft bubble protecting them, so that when they argue or disagree they just bounce into each other without getting hurt. But mine is missing or incomplete so people run over me and injure me. I need a better bubble.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Wed Jul 13, 2016 12:46 pm

jamberrypie wrote:On bad days, I see myself as a person figure drawn in light gray dotted lines. On these days, I feel fractured inside, ]

I can relate to that image.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby jamberrypie » Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:42 am

I've been a dotted gray line person since Friday. It seems like lately I haven't had very many good interactions with people. It's made me irritable and in low spirits.
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Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:02 am

Bubble very fragile for the time being. Easily overwhelmed.

Time to take care about basic things. Eat well. Try to sleep well. Move a little.
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