How to rebuild your bubble

A really common 12 step group is Alcoholics Anonymous.

How did your job interview go?

I am also in the process of job searching too, and it's taking up a lot of time and mental energy. Looking for a new job is almost like having a part-time job to work into the daily schedule! I've only just started though, but am trying to be selective about where I end up.

Philonoe wrote:(i slept after this post. maybe it helped rebuild my bubble. there was no drama in the exam. Have an other appointment for an other job this week. It's exhausting to look for an other job when there are problems in the actual one. Better would be to sleep well and be self comfident. Going to drink a glass of milk, and back to sleep )

Thank you for your question jamberrypie. Thank you skyflyz, lily and all posters who share advices.

The written exam was succeeded. The next step for that job is in about one week.
The interview of last week was ok. Then i had a second one for that job, on friday. It was with possible manager. I really appreciated both. All questions were related to the job. Answer in about one week (there are several other candidates).

Having some positive answers (called for written exam or interview) gave me energy.

But it takes a lot lot lot of time and energy to adapt curriculum to each job offer, write letter, take one day off that day in my job etc.

Besides, i realised that one big cause of bubble break was my new manager. Fortunately i'm not the only one. He externally is very relaxed and supposedly caring, but what he says is terrible and so aggressive/negating that i can't sleep. It can be towards me. Towards a colleague. Or creating tensions between people.
Fortunately last week i nearly didn't see him. I need to find ways to sleep and take distance and rebuild my bubble while looking for an other job.

Little practical details :

For the written exam, i knew it was long. Prepared some sweets to help. Forgot them all. I found some (non toxic, sugared) medicines in my bag. ate them all .

For the interview : this was in a very different place then what i'm used to. I decided to be very honest on what i could do or not. But they didn't ask complicated questions.

What i prefer is when asked about the job. It happened to me to be asked in some places weird questions like "do you eat your nails". Or whatever. Last month i had interview and they only asked about past job. And i tried to be positive about what i had done or was doing (although i felt bad inside myself). Then they said : you are enthousiastic about what you do now. So why change? From that one i have still no news, but i'm sure it's no.

(I try not to eat too much my nails or fingers for the time being).

Find a job is a long road. It's not easy to accept negative answers. I try to be fair. If we are several candidates, i don't see them as rivals, but people in same situation and possible future colleagues.



(sorry for mistakes in english)

It sounds like you've been handling it all very well, i.e. both on a professional level and a personal level!

It definitely takes a lot of time to customize each resume/cover letter for a specific job! But, I have to say the extra time spent can potentially pay off in the end. There is this job that I really want, and I spent probably 3 hours+ customizing the required documents. And, I recently got a call for an initial phone interview! Some of my coworkers said that this is the new way of interviewing. You don't get called in for a live, in-office interview, unless you first pass the phone interview. Okay, this process is all new to me.

'

Philonoe wrote:Thank you for your question jamberrypie. Thank you skyflyz, lily and all posters who share advices.

The written exam was succeeded. The next step for that job is in about one week.
The interview of last week was ok. Then i had a second one for that job, on friday. It was with possible manager. I really appreciated both. All questions were related to the job. Answer in about one week (there are several other candidates).

Having some positive answers (called for written exam or interview) gave me energy.

But it takes a lot lot lot of time and energy to adapt curriculum to each job offer, write letter, take one day off that day in my job etc.

Besides, i realised that one big cause of bubble break was my new manager. Fortunately i'm not the only one. He externally is very relaxed and supposedly caring, but what he says is terrible and so aggressive/negating that i can't sleep. It can be towards me. Towards a colleague. Or creating tensions between people.
Fortunately last week i nearly didn't see him. I need to find ways to sleep and take distance and rebuild my bubble while looking for an other job.

jamberrypie wrote:It sounds like you've been handling it all very well, i.e. both on a professional level and a personal level!

Thank you. I try to handle it

It definitely takes a lot of time to customize each resume/cover letter for a specific job! But, I have to say the extra time spent can potentially pay off in the end. There is this job that I really want, and I spent probably 3 hours+ customizing the required documents.

Yes, i tend to do that. I think it's worth the time spent.

And, I recently got a call for an initial phone interview! Some of my coworkers said that this is the new way of interviewing. You don't get called in for a live, in-office interview, unless you first pass the phone interview. Okay, this process is all new to me.

Yes, i had a phone interview and was surprised. Here is how it happened :

- received a little e-mail saying if please i can call
- i wasn't prepared so i said "is it ok tomorrow XX hour?"
- they answered : sorry but not in that moment. Call later tomorrow.
- i asked : is it ok tomorrow YY hour?
- i had no answer
- i thought : oups, i missed something.
- next day i phoned at yy hour, no answer
- the next day, i phoned

- i had prepared my cv + the job offer, reread the job offer, looked for some online advices (mainly : "be clear and short")
- i waited until i could phone in a quiet place
- called
- they answered. Just then manager entered in the room. I said "i'm coming in some minutes".
- then we talked a little. They asked : have you experience in this? i said no. Then an other question. I said no, but i stayed positive, like "i have no experience in this but it interests me much"
- it lasted 5 minutes.
- later i received an e-mail for the next step.

Phone call was ok but it seemed to me that they underestimate how important it is for interviewed. I mean : there was no precise appointment. I was afraid of having lo leave a message. Or be called back in the middle of colleagues. But it was ok. Maybe better for both not to have to meet, if they just want to check some things in the curriculum.

So,

The first one is no, as i expected. From the second one i have no news, and i should have, so i suppose it's no.

Then there is an other job that interests me much but there seems to be many steps.

In the last days my manager was absent so i felt better, more relaxed. I mean : better in the job place, and more relaxed.

He was there today, and again i can't sleep. Because he plays smiling and innocent, but in his project there is no me. So little by little he works without me on my things. And plays building new organisation, but there is no organisation. It's him. He decides all.
So i'm in his way but he doesn't fire me. He's just destructive.

When i talk to him, he is quiet and smiling, and shares some personal thing with supposed trust. And i'm supposed to stay polite. But there is no care. It's a very weird impression to be besides someone like that. My body is reacting weirdly. Just knowing him there i feel threatened. I feel suffocating.

It's not just me, some colleagues are sick for weeks. It's difficult to speak. I spoke to one colleague and it's a relief. It's difficult, because he plays caring.

Each time there is an issue that should be solved by manager, it becomes one's issue. He doesn't take responsibility. But some issues can't be solved.
Of course not much is done. Haha, it's because of economics. Or because of preceeding manager, or because of.

It's ok for me to change job, but it's hard to stay there and loosing own space and structure disappearing and.

So i search in my free time.

I need to rebuild my bubble to find new job. I need to create frontier and that myself can't be reached. I need to sleep. I need to take distance. It's hard. Because i'm attacked quite deeply. I had a depressed colleague, probably because disappearing of structure. I appreciate her much. And he decided it was because of me, for some miraculous osmosis. So he watched me with caring eyes and said "how can i help you feel better, so people around you will go better."

There are lots of sentences. All the time.

I'm on the road for new job but how rebuild self comfidence and internal peace to be ok for interviews.

If you have other tips, any of them including magical ones or small ones are interesting for me.

I always carry stones with me in my pockets. Right now, one is a pink, roundish one that I will pick up if I feel hurt and in need of some comfort. The other is a metallic, cubical one that I pick up if I need guts and support. I also have affirmations that I repeat in my head, over and over, untill the wave of emotions have gone a bit down. For example "This too shall pass", "I am more than my emotions" or "May I be filled with loving-kindness". I also have comforting songs and dream places in my mind that I use to rebuild my bubble. I like that you use your shoes to ground you, I will try to focus on my feet next time I go out.

Littlehope2016,

Thank you for this. I have two little stones that i carry around my neck (sometimes one, sometimes the other one, sometimes none). For the time when i feel internally in danger, i take one of them in my hand, so i concentrate to avoid being vulnerable or loosing control.
I have an other one in my bag. A little bigger. A special one that was very useful in family context. I took it in my hand during some moments where it was necessary for me not to loose control and stay quiet. It helped me much.

About sentences, i liked them.

jamberrypie wrote:How did your job interview go?

So... i had interview and then more tests and it didn't go bad but i haven't the job

We were many many and i'm not the first


So... continue searching