Looking for perspective

So these handful of instances happened, and since then, absolutely nothing. No communication, no losing control, nothing like that. Not a peep. I don't even know anymore. What does it mean? It happened when I looked for it to happen and that's it? I'm so confused.

Sometimes if a system thinks it's being discovered it will go into hiding. Try to keep up trying to communicate and everything - in time they will come back

eiritw wrote:So these handful of instances happened, and since then, absolutely nothing. No communication, no losing control, nothing like that. Not a peep. I don't even know anymore. What does it mean? It happened when I looked for it to happen and that's it? I'm so confused.

Alters and DID systems often hide, especially during the first "discovery" stages. Hiding and "laying low" are defensive mechanisms that are often reflexive, same as doubt and denial are (especially since "laying low"/hiding often causes denial and doubt).

Think about it- a DID system's purpose is to help the host function and cope while seeming as "normal" and "ok" as possible. If the alters/system is obvious or known about or being "found out" by other people (even if it's just therapists or something), that's not exactly helping the host seem as "normal" and "ok" as possible. It's also hard to shake the belief that hidden = safe because remember, they've been hiding to help everyone, including you, stay safe up until now, when it's safe/ok and there's the freedom to learn/know about them.
An unsafe environment for alters/a DID system can be anything from extreme fear of scaring parents/guardians or fearing that they won't understand, to an alter receiving punishment for being "out" (usually seen as the kid "pretending"/"playing", or refusing to cooperate, or some bullsh*t like that). Just as there's a large variety of trauma, there's a large variety of unsafe environments, especially for mental conditions.

Sometimes a system will also appear to go into hiding because they're busy taking care of things inside. So it could be that they've simply been busy inside. Could even be that they're tired out from stuff inside or something, and that they just aren't up to communicating or coming "out" or anything right now.

Overall, it seems to me like your alters/system is in hiding or "laying low" right now. Don't start to doubt yourself or let denial creep up on you. Keep trying to communicate, even if it's just to say "To whoever can hear me, I hope you're doing well" or something like that, and/or keep trying to write to them as well. Keep reassuring them that everything's ok, they're ok, you're safe, they're safe, and that it's ok for them to come "out"/forward. Don't give up on them- they will return in time.


-KAT

They have indeed come back. The diagnosis process is coming along nicely. The therapist is very nice, very accepting and I know that at a minimum I will get a Dx of DID-like DD-NOS. yes, it's going very well and i am so proud of erika! she bawled when it finally got to talking about us, but she was strong and held on. the therapist even shook her hand and said that she was proud of erika too! Of course they came back, and I am here too. YOU WILL NOT BE RID OF US SO EASILY! HA!

eiritw wrote:They have indeed come back. The diagnosis process is coming along nicely. The therapist is very nice, very accepting and I know that at a minimum I will get a Dx of DID-like DD-NOS. yes, it's going very well and i am so proud of erika! she bawled when it finally got to talking about us, but she was strong and held on. the therapist even shook her hand and said that she was proud of erika too! Of course they came back, and I am here too. YOU WILL NOT BE RID OF US SO EASILY! HA!

This is amazing progress, so glad to hear it. I'm proud of Erika as well, congratulations to you all, this is a huge step forward! I hope things continue to go well and progress for you, and am glad that your therapist is actually seeming to be competent and helpful.


-KAT

Glad to hear that things are working out, and congrats on taking such a big step forward, that's great!


~Phenix

Very happy to hear this Congratulations on your wonderful steps towards understanding and healing