News of Dissociative Disorders

Real passages of time,
survival instinct just to give $#%^ to death
memories of a past life
memories of a new life
memories of the midst life

who i am but whoever i'd like to?
who i am but synchronicity
im saying good bye, but wishing doo
why? im just a stranger
just a stranger in your head

so let me just ######6 fly
let me just grasp that things change
but how things change ...

I'm tired of this... tired of that weird moment when things fade from view, only to still be seen through my eyes.

I'm tired of two thoughts going in my head at the same time. Never resting.

I'm tired of not being able to remember things, of wondering when someone walks up to me and starts talking to me if they really know me and I just don't know them.

I'm tired of dreaming someone ...

John might not be around for a little while, it looks like hes going through a rough time. i found us curled up in the bathtub this morning crying and bleeding all over the place, john was talking about how no one loves him and later mumbling about how one pain lessens another. he was cutting us with a knife, none of the cuts were serious or placed anywhere that would cause any serious alarm ...

i think it is so fascinating, that we as multiples are so damn talented! it seems like everyone of us are multiple talented too! esp. very artistic and musically inclined. there must be some connection to d.i.d. and the ability to master the arts. i wouldn't trade my talents for anything! can you imagine what we could do if we all put our heads together! we would kick ass! nothing could stop us! ...

ok,, so i dont quite remember who are you guys...anyways..
let's say you say something that suddenly yiu dont know how to cope..like if one of your alter egos, suddenly tell secrets about you. or talks without thinking...or you talk without thinking...

i feel sio dead inside and so alone, i just took a walk and i saw people as they're not there, i think im getting wirse and i dont even know what the ...

Had some pretty scary dreams recently.

<GEEK ALERT!>
I went to a cosplay convention recently, and we did some photoshoots - one of them involved the character I play, and this group of 'bad guys'. The one I play has a demon locked in his soul (not hard to see why we play him hehe) and we re-enacted in photos the death of this character after the bad guys 'extract' the demon from him. (god ...

ya, i'm not writing in caps. i didn't plan on starting this way. i don't even know what i want to say or how "we" feel. maybe i just need a change. we've been rattling around in this head forever. you guys are the only ones i opened up to. i guess i just needed to talk to someone besides "the others". you know it's easier writing this way, no caps. maybe it will be ...

confucious sayyyyyyyyy drink beer first, eat food after. and ###$ up you sahall bee!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off*

:D i heart drinking

nine inch nails. one of my favorite bands, i swear nothing describes my struggle with C more than this song


http://youtube.com/watch?v=V0u0AG_floQ


heres the lyrics

I'm becoming less defined, as days go by
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I think I can see ...

so over a week or so now i've been talking with someone who found me on myspace. i dont know who she is but she knows me. currently she lives like on the other side of the state. its creepy cause she knows everything about me (though she didnt mention knowing about my DID till last night).

finally after all this perfect knowledge of me i asked her jokingly if she was stalking me, and ...