Welcome New Members

Thanks Kevin. Your kind words have been very nice.

I hope you find someone out there just for you as well. Its nice having that special someone to talk to and share things with.

Well, thank you for your kind words too. I will shortly be travelling literally thousands of kilometers to see a person, and the intention we both have is (I think) to start something in a relationship sense. I will not get ahead of myself, however, and will just remember to enjoy the moment when we meet once more.

Kevin

Hello Everyone! I will be 62 tomorrow and the beginning of this week I discovered that my mother (who is currently alive and just turned 84) has NPD. And even though I have known "there's something wrong and missing with her" I think I have viewed her behaviour towards myself and my siblings as unique. This information that she has a mental illness has been almost overwhelming. In a strange way it has been comforting to find out that what happened to me is so identical with the many stories I have been reading. And that my mother wasn't the only person being this way. However, I 've been feeling like a train wreak and I am having a hard time understanding why I am feeling so emotional right now. Maybe it's from reading the effects that these daughters have and realizing how terrible and hard it's been all these years and the exact damage that was done to me. Six years ago I received therapy for severe suicidal/depression and during the therapy I negotiated setting boundaries and setting limits with her. I told her that I had learned in therapy that her and I had not bonded and we have been causing each other immense suffering all these years because we've been pretending we did bond. I told her that I wasn't going to abandon her, that I wanted a different relationship with her based on respect. We agreed on ground rules ect. However it was very difficult as it seems she went along with things as long as it suited her. I thought she lacked relationship skills and that she sincerely wanted a healthy relationship with me. About 6 months ago I imposed a no contact rule on her because I felt sucked dry. I have ordered a book "Will I ever be good enough" on the advice of a friend and I have joined this support group.

Welcome, mspurplepearl! And Happy Birthday

I'm sorry about your mom... that's tough to deal with. I hope you find some good information here.

i am elf a new member i have mild asperger's syndrome. i also have dr phobia. drs make make me anxious especially if i try to have a pap test, which freaks me out. tried a again few days ago. my mom with her nagging about having this and that exam makes me more anxious.

i don't like being examined and assembly line style of today's health care.

i don't know how to get over this phobia. i suck picking drs

Welcome, elf!

I think there are a lot of people who are scared of doctors Good luck with getting over that fear. I hope you do.

I have Tourette's but it's died down to a few involuntary twitches of the tongue(literally not metaphorically, I've never had coprolalia).

I also suspect ADHD. People have asked "do you have ADHD?" since I was in middle school and I've relied on caffeine to push myself through my studies all the way up into college. I figure if caffeine works I might as well keep using it, since it must be safer than those prescriptions.

I also suspect Asperger's Syndrome. I don't have good people skills. In fact people find my quiet and reserved when I WANT badly to be loud and want badly to hang out with people more, but I just can't figure out how to approach people. Then again this could be social anxiety. Or both. One reason I think it's Asperger's is because I have some very strong obsessive interests in: Thinking about the best political system and how we can get there(after college I'm going to try publishing a work on political theory, wish me luck), drugs(mostly concerned with how various substances and doses alter the human conscious and the politics of drugs), and seeing what different foods taste like. I also tend to vomit easier at bad smells(but then I already have acid reflux disease) and get jumpy at loud noises. I also notice patterns. I notice how things on walls, couches, chairs, in scenery put together in different ways look like different things such as mountains, trees, sceneries, and faces. I tend to notice facial patterns(eyes, nose, mouth) more often. It's very hard to watch a movie without relating everything in it to political and social concepts I've learned about. Sometimes I'll insist that I "know" that's what the creator was going for, and rarely I looked it up and turned out to be right.

One thing I really think this forum needs is a scientific/theoretical section. That's the main reason I came here to speculate and theorize on the human mind.

Hello and welcome.

Welcome, AlabamaMan

AlabamaMan wrote:One thing I really think this forum needs is a scientific/theoretical section. That's the main reason I came here to speculate and theorize on the human mind.

I don't know if many people here would be interested in something like that, since they mostly come here for help, but you could try suggesting it to the admins.

I really enjoy watching on PBS the Doc Martin program. This evening for the first time I heard them mention Asperger's which I had always pronounced with a "hard" G but they said it as if saying "to cast aspersions" - as in Asper - zh - er's.
I made good grades as a student in Primary, Secondary public schools and in College. I also attended for two years of a three year graduate program (professional). I worked for wages or salary for forty-nine years, beginning at age 15 (the summer I turned 16).