I have no idea what to do, where to go, what to ask

I just wrote a long post about my situation, spent an hour or so refining it, then somehow I accidentally deleted it. Seems just so appropriate.

I have no idea what to do, where to go, what to ask. This forum seemed like a good place to learn about my problems, but it also seems too hard which reinforces my feelings of despair.

I just watched a tv show that said most humans have 150 friends in their social group (not facebook, real friends). I have 4, my 2 young adult daughters, and my elderly parents. I can't include my girlfriend of 4 years, or my twin brother, I know this is not normal. I can't talk to any of them about this, obviously.

I have professional acquaintances, but none of them really care about me, some would like to destroy my career for their own gain (bring it on), but most are indifferent. I have a few interesting hobbies, but I can't connect with others with the same interest. In fact I never really see other people.

I think I'm a good person, I'm considerate, try to listen, have a sense of humour (albeit off beat), I'm fairly normal when it comes to general life stuff. Boring really.

WHY, do I feel so alone? I'm not suicidal, but at the same time I don't know why I'm continuing with this charade, there is no point to it. For my kids I guess. But I am so deeply unhappy it is literally killing me. Alcohol gets me through each night... one night at a time. ###$ this.

isolatedandalone wrote:I just watched a tv show that said most humans have 150 friends in their social group (not facebook, real friends).

Just to clarify something, "social group" doesn't necessarily mean "real friends". I read some where that most people have less than 10 people in their lives who they are really close to. The rest are just acquaintances.... the quantity of people a person might interact with in a single year....

"average person has 150 real friends" is BS