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Funky Situation

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Funky Situation

Postby LucyTate » Mon May 25, 2020 2:13 pm

Hey guys, someone here. Just call me Rory I guess.

So really weird thing happened. I woke up this morning, early, and didn't feel quite like myself. Like having thoughts that contradict what I normally think and believe. So, I just kind of asked "I'm Evan, right?" then I heard someone/thing say "No, I'm Evan." This really confused me, I didn't feel like there was a switch, or that anyone was in control other than me. Not feeling like it's co-conscious, or really feeling much like "Evan" at all.

Then I said something like "But I'm Evan." and they replied "No, you're Jude."

Lately things have been strange. A lot of fuzzy-headedness, some confusion, disorientation, voices returning, just weird stuff. Today it feels a lot clearer and improved.

Is this some weird kind of switch thing going on? Why is someone else saying they're Evan? How could I just not be who I was? Or am. I'm just confused. Is someone messing with me? Jude feels like it fits way more than Evan does. I'm kinda scared, not gonna lie. Could this be an ego state thing on top of the alter thing?

Any advice helps. Thanks guys! <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby Una+ » Mon May 25, 2020 4:23 pm

That happens.

That happened to me one time years ago. It was very strange. Historically I would either front or be pushed more or less inside and experience a possession state while someone else fronted. On this one occasion my subjective experience was that I was fronting as usual but in my head I heard "my" own voice and I realized I had somehow switched to someone else without even noticing and without any sense of possession.

For me that experience proved to be a big step toward integration.
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby LucyTate » Mon May 25, 2020 4:52 pm

Una+ wrote:That happens.

That happened to me one time years ago. It was very strange. Historically I would either front or be pushed more or less inside and experience a possession state while someone else fronted. On this one occasion my subjective experience was that I was fronting as usual but in my head I heard "my" own voice and I realized I had somehow switched to someone else without even noticing and without any sense of possession.

For me that experience proved to be a big step toward integration.


Good to know this happens sometimes to others as well. It's very strange. I'll have to look into this more, thank you for the reply <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby ArbreMonde » Mon May 25, 2020 6:04 pm

Sometimes what we have in here is that we don't know who is the "me" fronting, especially in the morning when we wake up and things are still fuzzy and confused.

Like, this very morning, I was sure me-Zami had woken up and was starting the day but then I realized, hey, someone else is moving the body around and I'm still dreaming the dream of the night! It stopped after a few minutes though. And then I realized it was van H. who was fronting.

So, yeah, it's things that happen sometimes here too. We got used to it. Hope you guys won't be confused too much by it!

--Zami-- mixed with ~Theia~
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

They/them: --Zami--
He/him: -X- or -David- | oOo van H. oOo | //Ulysses// | °Isaïa° | ((Wolf)) | {Envy} | #Uriel# | {Wrath} | .....
She/her: ~Theia~ | oOo Mrs. H. oOo | *Reyna* | ♥Lust♥ | .....

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Re: Funky Situation

Postby LucyTate » Mon May 25, 2020 7:14 pm

ArbreMonde wrote:Sometimes what we have in here is that we don't know who is the "me" fronting, especially in the morning when we wake up and things are still fuzzy and confused.

Like, this very morning, I was sure me-Zami had woken up and was starting the day but then I realized, hey, someone else is moving the body around and I'm still dreaming the dream of the night! It stopped after a few minutes though. And then I realized it was van H. who was fronting.

So, yeah, it's things that happen sometimes here too. We got used to it. Hope you guys won't be confused too much by it!

--Zami-- mixed with ~Theia~


We're kind of figuring it out. It's just an odd experience honestly, we haven't had it before. Wondering if maybe we split recently or some weird integration thing is happening idk. Thank you for the reply <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby Nondescript » Mon May 25, 2020 9:14 pm

This happens in our territories on the regular.
It happened to one of us yesterday. It happened mid- conversation.

It went like this: blah blah blah.

<switch>

Internal dialog: why was I just saying that? I don't agree with that at all.

Because it wasn't you saying it.

But it seemed like me.

No, dude, it really wasn't at all.

Then who am I?

You're (name.)

Really? I don't think so. I think I'm (usual fronter.)

Usual fronter is thinking to themself, this is weird. That's not me, but he doesn't seem like himself.

External dialog with partner: Er, does anything seem different?

Partner: yes, you're (name given earlier. )

Internal dialog:
I'm too tall to be (name.) I don't feel as depressed as (name) usually does.

That's because some of us including you, it seems, are maturing. And (happy alter) is nearby.
___
Today the usual fronter (me) asked my partner what was going on in that conversation. He said I switched to (name) completely and there was no hint of me. I couldn't comprehend it. But (name) somehow was still focused on me and not on themself, to the degree that (name) was invisible as themself to me.

I agree with Una+ that this kind of flexibility is positive. My system has been working on this for a while, and our structural flexibility and integration waxes and wanes but is increasing over time. Sometimes it's confusing. But for us it rarely causes major problems.
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby sleepingwolf » Tue May 26, 2020 8:09 pm

This is a really interesting topic, it's been really nice to read all the replies and ideas, awesome!

For us it can happen a lot, probably once a day at least! For us, we put it down to times when we weren't fully aware we had DID, and so kind of 'went along' with it, all pretending to be each other and someone else, without really understanding it all. We have never had a central 'host', so we've always been part imitating/copying each other, and blending as seamlessly as possible, for like 20+ years...so its old habits I guess.

We don't copy each other any more though, but yea, old habits...

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Re: Funky Situation

Postby LucyTate » Thu May 28, 2020 11:04 pm

Nondescript wrote:This happens in our territories on the regular.
It happened to one of us yesterday. It happened mid- conversation.

Today the usual fronter (me) asked my partner what was going on in that conversation. He said I switched to (name) completely and there was no hint of me. I couldn't comprehend it. But (name) somehow was still focused on me and not on themself, to the degree that (name) was invisible as themself to me.

I agree with Una+ that this kind of flexibility is positive. My system has been working on this for a while, and our structural flexibility and integration waxes and wanes but is increasing over time. Sometimes it's confusing. But for us it rarely causes major problems.


It's good to know this happens to others, really. It seems so strange and fueled my self-doubt a lot. Turns out she's actually a co-host with her own system, which is pretty interesting. Hopefully this is a positive thing. Thank you <3

-- Thu May 28, 2020 6:09 pm --

sleepingwolf wrote:This is a really interesting topic, it's been really nice to read all the replies and ideas, awesome!

For us it can happen a lot, probably once a day at least! For us, we put it down to times when we weren't fully aware we had DID, and so kind of 'went along' with it, all pretending to be each other and someone else, without really understanding it all. We have never had a central 'host', so we've always been part imitating/copying each other, and blending as seamlessly as possible, for like 20+ years...so its old habits I guess.

We don't copy each other any more though, but yea, old habits...

Pastella


This was really cool to hear! It came as such an odd symptom to me that I really was concerned. Thank you for the reply <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Funky Situation

Postby Zor » Sat May 30, 2020 6:02 pm

ArbreMonde wrote:Sometimes what we have in here is that we don't know who is the "me" fronting, especially in the morning when we wake up and things are still fuzzy and confused.


We have similar experiences in the kind of situations explained above. We also have it happen when we're in a stressful AND triggering situation and the person being pushed forward tries to NOT come out... sometimes they can prevent it... but that "blended" or "close" time can feel this way... and it's hard to know who we are at that moment, in those times.

An example- at my sis in-law's last week... the "ditch the kids somewhere" thing is triggering to Kitten in our system b/c part of a hurtful time in our outside childhood when my mom was staying out late to avoid stuff at home, pushing us off on friends to get us away from them- but was taken by a 4-6 year old as "getting away from us". So sis in-law running off and being absent is similar in theme and triggering to Kitten. When we were getting her kids last week, Kitten was edgy, hurting, and really "close" but b/c of stress with others being around us and NOT being cool about it not being ME, she tried to NOT be out... and that caused a very blended "who are we" situation. I barely knew it was ME... and felt very... weird. Out of sorts, almost NOT me... but I was...
This created a "fuzzy" time and it was hard to know I was me... and I didn't even feel like myself...
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