Children noticing alters

Something I have noticed when I am in town or anywhere with children around, they notice my alters. Babies and young children specifically. The littles love this as they come out and play with them.

I was wondering if anyone else has noticed this happen?

- Purple Haze

We haven't noticed that, but we are seldom / never around kids or babies.

We have seen (or suspected) other people have caught us switching, or noticed when one of our littles is out. Its sometimes a bit scary when that happens, but noone's said anything.

V1

Not had this problem and I have kids.

Sometimes apparently it seems like they know but I haven't noticed it and none of them have said anything like I'm different to how I was before.

When my youngest daughter was about eight or so, she told me i sometimes seemed like a man. I am a person who always wears makeup although I don't dress in a very feminine way. I have a lot of male parts. But otherwise no experience with that.

AutumnJ wrote:Something I have noticed when I am in town or anywhere with children around, they notice my alters. Babies and young children specifically. The littles love this as they come out and play with them.

I was wondering if anyone else has noticed this happen?

- Purple Haze

I just always thought that I had an affinity for babies and toddlers--that I notice them, and consider them full-fledged people, and want to make contact with them. I've always thought that they notice me because I have distinctive hair and an expressive face, and I make eye contact with them. I've seen other grownups play peek-a-boo with random babies they're waiting in line with or whatever, so it seemed like other people do it, too, although maybe not with as much joy and playfulness.

Do you really think it's them noticing my littles?? I've never really thought of it that way and it's kind of causing a big reaction inside right now--one of those "I-don't-want-to-have-to-completely-change-how-I've-always-thought-about-something!!" feelings.

How do you know it isn't just that you like young children?

We used to have a multi friend whose dog knew when one of our littles was out. The dog was a rescue and not the friendliest, but david, our five-year-old "dog whisperer," had no trouble connecting with the dog.

MDs

TheGangsAllHere wrote:[...]
Do you really think it's them noticing my littles?? I've never really thought of it that way and it's kind of causing a big reaction inside right now--one of those "I-don't-want-to-have-to-completely-change-how-I've-always-thought-about-something!!" feelings.

How do you know it isn't just that you like young children?

Hi Gangs, I am sorry! I didn't mean to cause an upset in your inside world.

To answer your question, it's because young children look at the little alters. I have friends with little children and they can see/sense the littles.

But Gangs, it may not be that they notice littles in your system, sometimes I find it hard to find the right words to say things. Sometimes words come out wrong

MDs, I have two cats and they both definitely know when it is not me. They know when an alter has taken over.

- Purple Haze

Hi purple haze, kids do seem to notice and respond to our non-host alters, yep, but that's because those alters, mostly littles but at least one adult, are pulled to the front and want to interact in some way. Small children may look back at us in different ways, depending on what's going on. One of our many littles may jump to the front when my eyes gaze on a child, as on a bus, or when we're near small children.

One thing that happens differently is our face may do things our adult face doesn't, like it shows more innocence and curiosity at everything, I can feel it happening. Facial expressions are not age-appropriate and I wondered early on if we might appear somewhat mentally deficient when this happened. Our littles aren't necessarily trying to hang out, they're like real-world kids who are more likely to notice and pay attention, at least briefly, to kids around their age than to other people. Our littles prefer being around children like them, I guess. (Well, not exactly like them but you know.)

We've always sent out signals of recognition (hi, I see you) and safety to small children. It's automatic in our system, even for the grumpy alters (it's just a little more clumsy for them). The thought of scaring a child is one of the most upsetting things we can imagine, obviously a result of what we experienced in childhood.

Before we knew about the DID, it used to be the case that if small children were around and interested in interacting in any way, we would drop any conversation we were having with adults in a flash and start paying total attention to the child. But we would interact as an adult, just under heavy influence of littles, I think. After we found out about the DID, we decided how we responded to kids was going overboard, especially at work, so we're slightly more situation-appropriate nowadays.

Is it possible that children notice your alters because your alters front when kids are present or may be nearby?

Yes, I think children still have the ability to see right through you and are sensitive to your energy so they will notice "changes" in you and react to it.

Hi Purple Haze,

No worries--I think you're absolutely right, especially after reading what Johnny-Jack wrote. I have a part that struggles with rewriting our past based on what we know now, and responds with a "not this ALSO!" reaction as opposed to, "wow, that's cool--we didn't realize that before!"

We basically chose our career because of our littles--we work with kids and teens, and our littles (and tweens, and teens) help us connect with kids in a way that really impresses other people. ("I guess it can still count as a talent, right?" the denial part asks, plaintively... ).

We totally focus on kids rather than adults when we can, and we always have. Especially babies and toddlers. That bubbling up, happy feeling is definitely littles coming to or near the front.

And it is true that since finding out about the DID, we are more restrained and "appropriate" around kids. It has helped that we're taking better care of our littles--noticing them, responding to their needs, so they have other opportunities to come forward and don't feel quite so desperate to connect when we spot a stroller or a baby on someone's hip.