Alter jobs and other questions

We read/hear a lot about types of alters and alter jobs. How does one figure out what an alter’s job is?
Can an alter not know what their own job is? Because a lot of us don’t know what our jobs are and we worry that makes us fake.

We have found that some alters who one would think would have access to certain memories do not have access to those memories when they front. Is it possible for an alter to lose access to memories when they front? (I hope I make sense.)

I dont know what some of mine roles are. As for not having memories when they front I believe that is possible for sure.

Hi Baldanders,

By jobs, I assume you mean stuff like 'protector', 'internal helper', 'gatekeeper', 'persecutor', that sort of thing?

In our system, it's been a matter of getting to know different alters to find out what they do. And even then, there's only a couple where we can say with any certainty what their role is. We have a lot of alters who either don't fit into a defined role, or switch roles over time.

I'm pretty sure those described roles/functions/jobs are just meant as guidelines. And if you have or don't have alters that meet a particular definition, that doesn't really mean anything.

We have only a few alters in our system where we can say we definitely know their 'role'. Most of us don't fit in any of the defined jobs.

As for the memory question, absolutely 100% that is a thing in our system too. We describe it as a sort of 'filter'. When insiders come out front, they leave a lot of themselves behind and lose access to memories etc.

We think this is a protective thing, since it keeps the host from accidentally accessing those memories and knowledge.

Arin

Don't worry too much about jobs. Looking for what every alter's job is tends to assume that's how your system works, that you each have a basic role to fulfill or part to play in the life. This may be more or less true for some systems I guess. It's similar for identifying types of alters, for example, protectors, hosts, persecutors, fragments. A very helpful exercise for some systems, frustrating for some, a mixed bag for others.

Another approach might be a general inquiry, like who has what skills compared to other alters, who tends to show up or participate or influence under certain circumstances. Also, how old is an alter, roughly when did they arrive, what are they like, what are their preferences or interests, what triggers them, what are their beliefs and characteristic attitude, what memories do they have? Basically just collect information you know and don't try to figure out jobs unless it's clear for somebody.

For our system looking for types and roles is sometimes fruitful but more often frustrating. We can identify characteristics, but assigning labels just didn't help and it misled us sometimes. It helped to look for patterns among all of us, tendencies.

The label of protector seems really clear for many systems. It's kind of meaningless in ours since all but the youngest have a protective aspect of some kind.

Do you have a large system?

I've been in therepy for years and I'm still learning things. My psyc has helped identify some of their roles based on what they tell her.

Other roles are more subtle. Eg, it's my role as host to hide the multiplicity. I figured this out after years of trying to seek help. When I would try and verbalize what I know about the internal structure, my mind goes blank and I can't find the words. It was the repetition of this scenario that made me realise why this happens (because if I fail at my job, I won't be needed anymore, I'll be booted from the system and die)

But the good news is that we also have a talker (aka blabber mouth) so we call on them to speak. Their main role seems to be social communication, again this was learnt through experience and watching.

Other members like our protectors have been pointed out by the psyc. One I thought was trying to kill me and the other is a child who seems to be in a constant state of fight or flight. Originally I didn't understand how they could be trying to protect me (because they were causing problems in my opinion) that's why it's good to have an outside opinion you trust.

-- Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:14 pm --

Do you have a large system?

I've been in therepy for years and I'm still learning things. My psyc has helped identify some of their roles based on what they tell her.

Other roles are more subtle. Eg, it's my role as host to hide the multiplicity. I figured this out after years of trying to seek help. When I would try and verbalize what I know about the internal structure, my mind goes blank and I can't find the words. It was the repetition of this scenario that made me realise why this happens (because if I fail at my job, I won't be needed anymore, I'll be booted from the system and die)

But the good news is that we also have a talker (aka blabber mouth) so we call on them to speak. Their main role seems to be social communication, again this was learnt through experience and watching.

Other members like our protectors have been pointed out by the psyc. One I thought was trying to kill me and the other is a child who seems to be in a constant state of fight or flight. Originally I didn't understand how they could be trying to protect me (because they were causing problems in my opinion) that's why it's good to have an outside opinion you trust.

Several of our insiders did not know what their "jobs" were for a long time. We simply acted in a manner that we felt was best, or that felt "Right" for us. It was not until I began searching for a term to describe what we were or a reason to explain it that I found DID.

I began reading about the different roles/jobs, and a light bulb went off for me. Some of the others I figured out what their job was and some I could not. Some that I knew of, I told, others I did not because they were not ready to hear it.

There was one that no one was aware of until the others made ourselves known to the host and our husband. Then shortly after the "reveal" she integrated with me. We still aren't entirely sure of what her job was, but whatever it was I feel that she was no longer needed, she knew she was no longer needed, and so she decided to "go away," in a sense. That part of us is still here, she's just inside my own awareness. Sometimes I hear a little whisper of her voice if I concentrate very hard.

It is ok to not know for now. Simply work on getting to know them and eventually it will be made clear. For instance, one of our parts was always belligerent towards the host, always antagonizing. She was a persecutor. But after getting to know her, and her getting to know us, and adjusting to things, we realized she was, in a way, a protector. Her "job" was to make host feel unlovable and unworthy, in an effort to keep us out of meaningful relationships. Because, if you can't get close to someone, then they cannot hurt you.

So even when you THINK you've figured out a role, it may not be what you think it is.

Just take your time and don't rush labels. Work, instead, towards understanding the mindset of each one. The rest will come in time.

D

VioletFlux wrote:Hi Baldanders,

By jobs, I assume you mean stuff like 'protector', 'internal helper', 'gatekeeper', 'persecutor', that sort of thing?

In our system, it's been a matter of getting to know different alters to find out what they do. And even then, there's only a couple where we can say with any certainty what their role is. We have a lot of alters who either don't fit into a defined role, or switch roles over time.

I'm pretty sure those described roles/functions/jobs are just meant as guidelines. And if you have or don't have alters that meet a particular definition, that doesn't really mean anything.

We have only a few alters in our system where we can say we definitely know their 'role'. Most of us don't fit in any of the defined jobs.

As for the memory question, absolutely 100% that is a thing in our system too. We describe it as a sort of 'filter'. When insiders come out front, they leave a lot of themselves behind and lose access to memories etc.

We think this is a protective thing, since it keeps the host from accidentally accessing those memories and knowledge.

Arin

For us these are kind of generalized and "fluid" to a degree. Pixie, in general, is a protective sort, and for a time was a gatekeeper of sorts (until meds we were on caused that to become impossible to do and keep control of). She can still function somewhat in that sense, helping get people out and others in, etc... but not a "sure thing" kind of "control" she used to have.

Protector, in that she's the one that would move me when things were bad, Angel suffered the earliest stuff and later stuff of a similar nature (without details for TW- sexual abuse), and she was the one that "moved us" around... sort of a "tinker bell taking the lost boys to neverland" kind of thing, maybe that's where the name and motif and attitude for her character are drawn from? Who knows.

But the rest are less clear and less "formal"... so there ARE "roles"/"jobs"... but they aren't necessarily defined and rigid. Each system is unique and the definition of alters and people within each system will vary dramatically.

I agree with what the others have said about not worrying too much about jobs. Most of the times every alter has mkre than one job, or even has just a very specific one to handle that the system as a whole might not even understand at first. The mind does what it needs to and it doesn't bother with schemes.
Just get to know your system better and communicate, and you may even ask some of the insiders to tell you directly what do they think their role is.
Good luck with everything!

Thanks, everyone. It's a relief to know it's ok and normal.

brockovich4321 wrote:Do you have a large system?

Yeah, I think so. So far, we know of at least twenty and the number seems to keep going up.

I have another question if that's ok, but I'm kind of afraid to ask it.
*Trigger warning for underage sexual alter and suspicions of csa*
We’ve suspected we had a sexual alter for awhile now. We finally met her recently. Turns out she’s twelve. Why on earth would a sexual alter be twelve? We have suspicions about why she exists, but just suspicions, no memory or evidence. Although, I suppose she is evidence. But even if we did go through csa, why wouldn't she be older?

Baldanders wrote:*Trigger warning for underage sexual alter and suspicions of csa*
We’ve suspected we had a sexual alter for awhile now. We finally met her recently. Turns out she’s twelve. Why on earth would a sexual alter be twelve? We have suspicions about why she exists, but just suspicions, no memory or evidence. Although, I suppose she is evidence. But even if we did go through csa, why wouldn't she be older?

Hi. I am 8 and a half. I was like that. My bigger people are with me when I am writing this.

We are whatever age we are just because. Sometimes it is the age when bad stuff happened. Sometimes it is the age we feel safe. Or cuz of other reasons I don't know. But just cuz it is about grownup stuff doesn't mean the inside person is a grownup.

I hope that your girl can talk to your T about this stuff. Or at least that you can. And think up ways to help your girl.

Christine