How do you get internal knowledge

I started posting this as part of another post but realized it's a fundamental issue for those of us with DID. How do you find out things that other alters may know but you don't?

For us, the process is often: be calm, receptive, open....pose the question, listen, wait for knowledge to come. Journaling has generally been like this but not always necessary. We come to know stuff without knowing how we know. I once assumed everyone's mind worked like that.

Sometimes the knowledge just floats up, source unknown, but I'm better at sensing whether it's from inside or just me guessing, filling in the gap. My guesses have less depth, less staying power. There's little sense of certainty in my own guesses, but I have to pay attention to all that. Actually I think I developed that awareness long ago, maybe in childhood.

I've learned to be patient. The one with the answer may not be around or want to engage. Several of us are very hurt and withdrawn. It's like I launch a computer program in my head that runs and returns an answer when it finishes running. Sometimes it's immediate, other times not.

Some of the searching is about outside stuff. So I can't find my phone or my keys and ask inside if anyone has a clue. Someone inevitably has something.

I don't really have any answers to contribute but I second the question, how do you do this?

So far I've tried two things. I sort of try and meditate and then just ask questions inside and see what comes up. This has worked but it's not a sure thing. Maybe 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 attempts come up with anything at all, and then it's incomplete or fragmentary. Or it's unexpected, like trying to talk to one, and hearing from someone else.

The other thing I do, is I ask Rebecca (my helper. probably lol) who seems to be with me most of the time. This is not so reliable either though. She usually won't respond when I ask 'inside', I have to speak out loud to get her attention then she answers inside. Like talking to one of those phone apps, "Hey Rebecca!" lol.

And while she's usually mostly helpful, she's sometimes vague and her responses can be sort of zen-yoda-ambiguous. I'm never entirely sure if she's just messing with me, or she doesn't know so she's making up stuff to make herself sound 'wise' lol. Mostly though I do trust her.

One other thing, is stuff just pops out unbidden. Sometimes informative, but frequently confusing.

Johnny-Jack wrote:I started posting this as part of another post but realized it's a fundamental issue for those of us with DID. How do you find out things that other alters may know but you don't?

I agree that it's a fundamental issue, and it makes me wonder how people without alters become aware of things that they don't consciously know--like unconscious motivations or other feelings/thoughts that they are, let's say, repressing rather than being dissociated from. I mean, isn't it possible to avoid knowing things without actually dissociating from them?

So, if we are talking about a singleton (or I guess, knowledge within a particular alter that the alter itself doesn't know), I guess the process is usually questioning an inconsistency that happens--"why did I just do or think that?" Like for example, why did I just feel hatred toward someone I love? Oh, maybe I resent that thing they did 20 years ago. I think it's just a process of questioning inside and having answers come up from a unified self.

But for stuff that alters know and you don't, it seems like it's much more like asking another (outside) person for information. You will only find out if they want to tell you (or maybe you can make guesses based on body language or facial expression, the same way you can feel some of an alter's feelings, or have a little access to what they are thinking and make guesses based on that). And since alters are created to keep you (as host or just another part) from knowing things, it's an uphill battle for sure.

A big part of the answer is probably that you will find out when they feel like you're ready to find out.

sometimes journaling and dreams. most often when I am in a semi hypnotic state. the shower. on the edge of sleep. when I am slightly spaced out and dissociated it just comes up.

other times, like asking the question is similar to what you describe. sometimes it is a data query on the memory bank. sometimes it's just supplied by the peanut gallery.

When I’m super relaxed, meditating. Sometimes I don’t know -it simply arrives.
One thing for us is music -I’ll find myself/ ves singing a song over and over or hearing it . There’s usually a message in there.