How are you today thread (trigger warning)

My day was woefully unrewarding thanks to my laziness.

If not knowing what happened is supposed to protect me why am I not feeling protected???

This pretty much sums up years of our life while I didn't know what was wrong with me (as a host). After finding out about the DID, working with the different parts and managing more memories I feel much more protected. Before I had an illusion of protection - I wasn't protected, I just didn't remember what had happened - whereas now I have real protection: we work together so we can all stay as safe as possible. I really relate to what you wrote though. Some years ago I thought there was no possible way that I wouldn't have anxiety 100% of the day. The anxiety was absolutely all-consuming. I treasured glimpses of bare minutes without it a couple times through-out the years (this lasting many years). Now, while I still have a lot of anxiety issues, I am honestly okay most of the time. I didn't know it was possible to get out of that kind of life but it was and it is. Do you have a T that can help you with all of this? I'm glad you can post here and get some of your feelings out and be heard

I wish we could put the breaks on the system and sleep for a good long while.

lifelongthing wrote: Do you have a T that can help you with all of this? I'm glad you can post here and get some of your feelings out and be heard

Sadly I don't have a T yet, it'll still take a few months or so to get one, so I'm pretty much stuck without help. I just wish I could work this out on my own because fear is just the worst thing ever, and having it without knowing why just sucks.

I'm doing ok, snuggled up with food, telly and shall do painting. Pretty tired though but I did get a full nights sleep thanks to my cat snuggling on my bed

Worse than I have in a long time. I wish I can just ignore all the emotional residue Sage left on me but I can't. I hate this childish "I'm in trouble" feeling I have due to my most recent argument with James (Sage's boyfriend). I literally cannot make sense of these thoughts or even place a label on these emotions. I know they'll fade with time but the wait is torturous.

I'm sorry to hear that Gina. I'm here and listening.

I actually feel great!

I'm concerned X was over-embellishing some stories to my friends, and falsifying memories. I'm going to watch him more closely to see if he's lying.

Been having flashbacks for over a week now and it's getting worse and I keep feeling stupid and worthless and like all I do is overreact and like our abuse wasn't "bad enough" for me to not be ok and just generally feeling anxious and nervous and I want to hide but I can't

It s okay to feel the way you feel.

If you feel you re overreacting, that s okay. But please let me state that the memory you re talkin about was a very bad one. A memory any child would be very scared of. Not just you. You re NOT overreacting.
But if that s what feels most safe right now, that s okay too.

As for the flashbacks - do you know groundin techniques and breathin exercises to reduce the anxiety and fear that come along so you get back to a restin point sooner?

Treat yourself good and kind. You deserve it. You wrote once that wrappin clothes made you feel more comfortable. Maybe that can be of help? There s no shame in usin these things to get that extra support to get you through the day.

Sendin you peace of mind and the knowledge that you are worthwhile and that what you experience is real and your reactions are normal

nina11