How are you today thread (trigger warning)

I/we haven't been on here for a while. I'm not doing well at all, but I have a friend who knows about the DID and is very supportive of me and the system. She's getting me through everything.

I hope everyone feels better soon.

We're doing pretty good. Things are moving along nicely lately and we've been stable for several months now, which feels good.

i feel so out of control of my life.

Safe hugs if wanted Alex.. Is there anything you want to talk about?

Well Quinn today learned that my girlfriend didnt hate him. I think that's the reason why he was gone for quite a while and my relationship with her was rocky. It's a good feeling, feeling that you're loved. Not just one part, but all parts. Especially a part that spent so much time with her.

so..

+1 positive out of a sea of negative.

hey I didn't see this thread before, this is a good idea

I had a pretty calm day because I made a point of preemptively avoiding things I knew would set me off, but the more relaxed I got the more uneasy typhon got, essentially. He seems to be getting worse and worse off, and more stuck in the past-- it's like he can't really comprehend the idea of a day without a crisis scenario. so he directed a full blast of paranoia to a totally benign situation and I /was not/ able to shake his convincement-and-in-turn-my-convincement that I was in the past and that my partner wasn't a safe person.

which are obviously not things I want perpetuated through me at all.

I wish I could do more for him but right now he's "rocking the boat" so much that we have enough trouble staying in it ourself, much less convincing him that the boat is real.

but other than that it was a good day. in completely alter-unrelated news, I think I might have an egg intolerance of some sort

im so fed up with "therapy" and doctors and stupid shrinks. they just sit there with their paper writing down $#%^ about us that we shouldnt even be telling them and thats all they do. they cant help, no one can help. the world breaks us but we're the only ones here.
theres only so much of people listening to us and studying us like some kind of freak, that i can take.

i dont know what to do. theres no help, no truth, no love. im so ######6 sick of being here. i'm a ######6 waste of space and tax payers dollars. i wish i never reached out for "help"

Terrible. The website I've been using to find clients is cracking down on my ads. I've made no money today & I have a week to go from broke to hundreds of bucks, or evicted I will be. I'm so tired of this. Struggling every month just to keep a roof over my head with no support. Everyone telling me to stop prostituting, like homelessness is somehow a better option. I'm using every resource I can. Guess what? No one is hiring me. Letting myself not pay rent & be homeless? That would be irresponsible. Sage is the only one assisting me with this but really what more can she do? Usually too unstable to even look in the mirror much less hold a conversation with a stranger anymore. Nobody is f--king helping yet everyone wants to tell me I'm doing something wrong. No helpful suggestions. No Nothing. Unless you can tell me how to make $400 in six days, STFU & let me handle my business. I'm a grown-ass woman. I'm NOT gonna be living on the streets. Period. If I do go down it'll be swinging (or f--king in my case).

triggers, probably.

strung out and super paranoid. can't make sense of anything. my house is as bad as it's ever been and the toilet has been blocked this whole time and it's horrible. the cats are in my SO's flat but because of the storm here in the UK they are trapped there - the waterfont got completely flooded and cars were swept out to sea, people have been stuck in their houses and we tried to get into the flat yesterday but i have never been in wind that strong before. the dog got thrown into the road by the wind and a lorry nearly went over in front of us. we couldn't get around the corner to get to the flat just three houses down. the cats haven't got water and haven't been fed for over 24 hours. i'm supposed to try to get to them but i don't feel like i can leave the house because i'll go and drink if i do and i don't have the energy and i'm so angry i feel like stabbing myself in the eyes with a ######6 nail file and i'm exhausted from the head states changing around all the time. i'm wishing i had amnesia because i don't want to deal with it. i'm sick of spouting negative crap and i don't know how to stop it all spilling out. i hate ranting but it's constant in my head anyway and nothing will shut up and i don't know how to deal with it except get wasted.

my daughter has a school disco tonight and i don't know how i'm supposed to collect her because i am really not doing well rikght now and the last couple of times she has had something on at school i have had massive panic attacks when trying to pick her up because there are hundreds of people and i can't deal with it, and my SO is away until this evening so i don't know what to do.

Hi there. Am a new member here, very much appreciating and kind of amazed that there is a place where people with DID can interact.

I'm 61, have learned abt my DID two years ago. Am eager to learn the ropes if this site. Seems very well organized, wisely articulated and moderated. Simply thankful to find it .